Last night of freedom...:(
Before I proceed let me tell you this wonderful news that- I've got selected for BRAC! I know most people are like- it takes NOTHING to get an admission there. They take you for the MONEY. But hear me say- stupid people don't get in. I had to go through a competitive (less but not nothing) written test and a viva for it. If it were all about money they would've taken me without an exam. SO. Guilty as charged. We are going to live in the streets. Oh no. Just kidding. But my father will have to go through this huge pressure, six figure, really a huge amount to pay as we're hardly above the middle class. But anyway I am gonna try to get a scholarship and improve myself as much as I can to save him off some misery.
I am so damn excited to be in the university. I mean, it will be crazy. There's gonna be a lot of people involved...and from both sexes! I mean it was a terror studying in all girls' college, but now I guess it's going to be interesting. I only had a boy "friend" when I was in class four who was very pretty by the way with those aboriginal Chinese eyes and I never met any boys after that. I only had annoying girlfriends and all we could talk about was youtube and celebrities. So it's going to be a different experience for me to study in a coed. And I pray not to be the weird girl in the class who doesn't know how to talk with opposite sex. Yep that's what I am worried about.
About freedom and invasion of privacy...(sigh) my grandma's moving in with us again, but this time it's going to last a lifetime of whatever left on her lifespan. I know it sounds completely immature and selfish, rude, so arrogant because she's our family I should act cool with it, I just...don't know how to step aside my normal behavior as a teenage girl who doesn't wanna share her room with an old lady. And here's the thing- I have an urge to dance like really have a disco moment alone in my room behind the mirror that cheer me up everyday and so I need music out loud on the speaker but with her being there, I can't. So it's another reason that I creep out every time she stays here, I suffocate because I can't reveal how weird I am and most importantly music is not allowed because most of the time she'd be humming prayers so I suffocate again without music. She has such a class she doesn't let me be quirky. So tonight is the last, I am here in my room and I am gonna miss it pretty bad....I almost cried. No movie night...No random dancing...no stripping....no alone moment....That sucks....
Still I am hoping that maybe this time I will try and spend time with her, pretend that I am sweet when I am bitter inside. And maybe this time when she asks me to give a oil massage on her skinny shoulder I would make a legit excuse to pass. Yeah, probably the last time I am writing so openly. Goodnight. Sweet prince.
Before I proceed let me tell you this wonderful news that- I've got selected for BRAC! I know most people are like- it takes NOTHING to get an admission there. They take you for the MONEY. But hear me say- stupid people don't get in. I had to go through a competitive (less but not nothing) written test and a viva for it. If it were all about money they would've taken me without an exam. SO. Guilty as charged. We are going to live in the streets. Oh no. Just kidding. But my father will have to go through this huge pressure, six figure, really a huge amount to pay as we're hardly above the middle class. But anyway I am gonna try to get a scholarship and improve myself as much as I can to save him off some misery.
I am so damn excited to be in the university. I mean, it will be crazy. There's gonna be a lot of people involved...and from both sexes! I mean it was a terror studying in all girls' college, but now I guess it's going to be interesting. I only had a boy "friend" when I was in class four who was very pretty by the way with those aboriginal Chinese eyes and I never met any boys after that. I only had annoying girlfriends and all we could talk about was youtube and celebrities. So it's going to be a different experience for me to study in a coed. And I pray not to be the weird girl in the class who doesn't know how to talk with opposite sex. Yep that's what I am worried about.
About freedom and invasion of privacy...(sigh) my grandma's moving in with us again, but this time it's going to last a lifetime of whatever left on her lifespan. I know it sounds completely immature and selfish, rude, so arrogant because she's our family I should act cool with it, I just...don't know how to step aside my normal behavior as a teenage girl who doesn't wanna share her room with an old lady. And here's the thing- I have an urge to dance like really have a disco moment alone in my room behind the mirror that cheer me up everyday and so I need music out loud on the speaker but with her being there, I can't. So it's another reason that I creep out every time she stays here, I suffocate because I can't reveal how weird I am and most importantly music is not allowed because most of the time she'd be humming prayers so I suffocate again without music. She has such a class she doesn't let me be quirky. So tonight is the last, I am here in my room and I am gonna miss it pretty bad....I almost cried. No movie night...No random dancing...no stripping....no alone moment....That sucks....
Still I am hoping that maybe this time I will try and spend time with her, pretend that I am sweet when I am bitter inside. And maybe this time when she asks me to give a oil massage on her skinny shoulder I would make a legit excuse to pass. Yeah, probably the last time I am writing so openly. Goodnight. Sweet prince.
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