Everly

I had a great day with my cousins and sister. Now I am back to my normal life and I just don't know what to write anymore. So BORED. UGH seriously, If I knew this is how things will be after HSC I wouldn't actually care much for the exam to complete earlier. Because. You see. My life hasn't changed a bit. I still sleep like a pig, I still don't see much of the day, I am a night person and it often sucks because I don't actually have anything to do at night. I normally sleep or pretend that I am sleeping for time to move fast and oh my god I'm so bored.

Words. It's all about words. It's all about what you speak.Not what you feel inside. So unfair you know. It gets hard sometimes. Saying what barely makes a sentence. Barely fits the hole in your heart. Sometimes, it gets so hard, to let out the thoughts you bury and simply no one cares. It's absurd. Someday, you're gonna die. And no one will ever know what was inside your soul. What dreams or sorrow lied under your skin and bone. No one will ever know you. And you will be long gone. And you will not have any power over your stuff anymore. Things that you once used, will be a memory or sit in the back of your garage door. Your feelings, your emotions. They will disappear like you one day. And nothing you can do about it. I don't know, it just seems so....unfair to live this short and die for an eternity. And to plan a future feels so vague sometimes. There's gonna be regrets anyway. No matter how much you succeeded you're gonna have regrets sometime in y...

My sister's birthday is on 28th May and I'm still figuring out what to give her. I think, the thoughtful gift might be cash . Because, she loves shopping and therefore she needs cash. But I already spent all of my pocket-moneys so it's me who needs cash right now. To buy her a gift  of course. Hey, I could buy her a card expressing sisterly affection. Uh oh no, I forgot, she doesn't like words, she likes something cash on top, instead. I could give her my old monopoly money, no? Okay you know what, I'll just give her a hug and tell her that I love her. There. Solved the money problem. 

Help yourself and try to be the best. Maybe all this time, I had underestimated myself too much. Maybe I can do this. No not "maybe", I can definitely do this. I just have to make a plan. And stick to it. It could be an achievement. Because I have barely made any achievements in life. Why the hell did I give all my hopes up, at the very beginning of something legendary could've taken place?.I mean it was my dream,right?  To get admitted to IBA. Why I recently had the feeling that it's an impossible task for me to make possible? I mean it's obviously not impossible, I can totally make it happen. I have the potential, just have to work on it. Because people get admitted to that place, it's not something you say impossible. Why did I aspire for something average, something like getting admission to any public university. If it were any versity, I would've already lost the interest. It has to be particular and it has to be IBA. I was freaked out by maths a...

My sister's laptop has no music file in it. Can you believe it? She lives without music! I can't spend a single day musicless. I wonder how she does it. So I am clearly not studying. I don't think I should be. My exams are just over. I should be partying. Nah, not much of a social butterfly. And my cousins are busy with their thing. Oh I am going to my friend's house this weekend for a get together. Yeah. Starting to feel my exams are really over. Oh and I watched The Duff today, It was quite fun actually. Ugh. I'm feeling useless. I should do something. Uh. Like washing my face. Yeah I could do that. Nah, I'll do that at night. Oh my god seriously I am bored. Urghhhhhh......I wish I could go to college and stare at his face. I miss that. Just kidding. WHAT SHOULD I DO!? Mysha is studious when her exam comes knocking at the door.I don't blame her. I actually blame myself, for not being studious, like ever. You would see me the same, before or after ex...

today went sweet.The heat was unbearable tho. And I am right now kind of feeling guilty of what I wrote last time about my sis and brother-in-law. I had lack of sleep and I wrote terrible things. I have nothing against him. He seems like pretty decent guy and extra sweet. And he didn't have any "stupid" kind of pain, he looked really sore. So My bad, I shouldn't have written those words, or any of it. I should have kept it to myself. Now I hope no one reads this blog because It's kind of like my dumpster. I don't want this things to be read and get hurt. I just keep it apart from me, my family and that's why I once changed its address. But what the hell. Fariha (my cousin) intended to read Allah knows what she read. This is stupid. I shouldn't have told her about it. If you're reading this Fariha, Then stop it right there. Remove it from your browser history. Because you can't be trusted.Go away .  -_- So I joined writer's cafe and check...