Everly

Ann & I, we started exchanging emails. Because chatting's too mainstream.:) Here's the one that put a smile on my face last night. Oct 30 (1 day ago) Dear Ramisa, Your emails are so entertaining. I love your emails. I miss you guys a lot. My worst fear is actually coming true. I'm gonna be the lonely girl who has no friends very soon. I have 2 friends who are actually kind of like me but I have only 2 classes with them. Malia is kind of moving away from me which is kind of hurtful. I'm guessing you don't get the type of my relationship with Michael and that you are very interested. He is a very unattached, wild boy. He is not into relationships. And we are just friends. The things between us are ok now. Thank you for your advice though. He doesn't do the crazy things he used to anymore. So we are ok. I think I'm gonna meet 2 Bangali boys  this Friday . Always happy to meet my own kind. And I'm sure it was embarrassing for you in the class a...

I was focused, okay focused would be a strong word. A little concentrated on my study prep for finals. Maybe because I had a little concentration, it broke down in the midway. My study routine that I prepared for like a month got messed up. I don't know, maybe studying is not my thing. Getting bad grades is my thing, and I should hold on to that. But no, I can't hold on to that I have dreams going on, I have my dad hoping on me to get into some renowned Uni, and I better get refocused. Three days hortal. Nothing I needed more right now. :) Plenty time to clear the mess.  

We had a little talk today, in whispers. I was in private and he was telling us theories to write. I didn't get to sit on the desk because there weren't enough sits. So at first i sat on one of the chairs at the very corner. And he shifted me to the stools in the middle row. I wasn't willing to because then I'd be separated from Ankan who was sitting next to me. Because she's the only person I mostly talk with. But he said, the fans wouldn't reach the corners(Aww I like how he cared) and so I was shifted to the airy area, on a stool in the middle row. Then it started, the writing theories. Ugh, Boring. But I would stop writing as when he'd pause and exchange a glare. And the most interesting part was when I glanced outside, he looked at the outside too, like he was following me or something. Like he wanted to know what I was staring at. So it didn't turn out that much boring. It was like half an hour later, I kind of got sleepy and he called me up. ...

nanu is feeling really sick tonight. I left her in the room and moved to the living room couch.My sister is staying with her.As always I turned out to be a selfish granddaughter.Just a minute ago I was crying for not having feelings for her.Why am I always like that? Why can't I spend a single night beside her and listen to bed night stories like all other grand kids?  I suck at pretending I love her.I suck at being a granddaughter. After all those years of holding me on her lap, sometimes feeding me,sometimes giving me a bath when I was little,she's still a stranger to me. I try but I get nothing.I am numb.

Shopping after ages! Bought a beautiful gown for Api's reception. It'd probably be the best dress I own up till now. The color is sea-green, full length gown, It looks so pretty on me! My api says I look like a Cinderella, just like the fairy-tales. When I trialed it, I was like, Where's my Prince Charming, I wanna dance till midnight....I can't wait to wear it again! Have you seen F.R.I.E.N.D.S, where Monica, Phoebie and Rachael they wore bridal gowns just because they wanted to get happy? Wedding gowns are bliss! Mine is a party gown but still a bliss! Money can buy happiness, those 8500 Tk for that dress was well spent. I am so much happy now :D :D :D Just need someone to dance with on that dress! 

Confession#63 Nanu isn’t home. She’s gonna stay at her sister’s place for few days now. So yeah, finally got my room back. Freedom tastes good indeed! I’m depressed! Don’t know why. No I don’t miss Nanu. It’s a different issue. My day wasn’t bad or anything, It was fine. Even better than fine. But ugh I don’t know…I just feel like crying it out. Something’s bothering me and I am ignoring it like it doesn’t have to do anything with myself. I have so much ahead of me, If I lose it, I’d lose everything of it. I can bet none of my friends know how deeply depressed I’ve been. They don’t know because they see me always laughing at the stupidest and dumbest things on earth. They see me smiling splitting my mouth almost every day. I don’t blame them because any normal person would if they see me, probably think I am happy. In fact, they would think I am very much happy. My friends should know when I am laughing too much at everything, I am actually trying to hide my pain, to drive ...