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 My feelings died.

Today, I woke up, I stalked him again. I think I blocked all his contacts last week. Because I didn't want to keep up with his life anymore. And today when I went to his profile, saw his face, read his caption, surprisingly, I felt this numbness inside of me. 

I was not jealous anymore. I wasn't yearning for him anymore. I wasn't reminiscing what we had anymore. The most amazing part was- there was no pain. Nothing! 

So it is safe to say- I am finally over and done with him!

I have nothing to prove to him. I mean before it was like, I would share something public just in the hope of him stalking me and finding how I am doing. Now I am independent of that feeling. I have separated myself from that pain he caused me. It is like, I am a new born. And I am a completely emotionally validated person myself and now when I talk with men, I know if this doesn't work out, I will be fine and move on with my life. And as long as I have myself, I don't need other people's validation of me to keep myself going.

I wouldn't say that I don't need someone. Ofcourse, I wanna fall in love. Deeply. And truly. But there's no rush. And there's no cover up. I don't have to fake it with someone just so I don't feel alone. If something's gonna work, it is gonna work itself.


That's how Zen and cool I am right now. 


And I am healed. That is the best part of this year!

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