spring is almost here

 After a bit of soul searching, sleeping like a pig in the mornings, chatting bluntly with strangers on Tinder, Whining that I don't have the skills to get a job, reminiscing and cringing the past embarrassing moments...reading couple of chapters of a self-help book,

I decided, I am gonna do something about my life.

Though I have not yet started taking the authority of my choices, but I have decided to come up with a plan (Cause that's like the fun part before working hard on something) to change for a better version of myself. 

So here is a draft of things, I need to change/give attention to for now:

1. What makes me lose all sense of time? What takes all my focus and simultaneously fulfils my soul while doing it? Take a guess...Say what? No, not masturbation lol, though I see your point. It is WRITING! Can't you see? No matter what, I always felt comfortable journaling, reading books, learning new words to enrich my vocabulary. So this is my cue to begin. I love writing. And when I was young and started journaling, my dream was to become a blogger/story teller. I never had the courage to pursue it because I always demeaned my ability to write. Now, I know it is all about practice and faith. If you have a strong faith in yourself, you can achieve anything. And right now- I am narrowing down my aims of what I want to become. Since I come from a business background, there are ways with I can endue this skill.  I can be a copy writer. I can do content marketing. From now on, I will hunt for such jobs.

2. Consistency. I am so much in need of that in my life. I have done things half-heartedly. And now I need to become more and more consistent because there is no short-cut. I can't cover up my lack of effort with anything because the outcome will only reflect my input and if I don't give my best I won't get the best. I have to be persistent and consistent throughout my journey.

3. Be self-sufficient but also be open to other's assistance. I have a tendency to hesitate asking for favors. I know now, it is a trauma response. Because I think I am undeserving. But it is high time now that I should know where my standards lie and understand that I deserve everything  I desire.

4. Patience. A very important element I lack. Results need time. It's not gonna happen in a blink of an eye. I need a lot of patience and for that maybe I should try meditating everyday.

5. Love life- though I know my efforts in the past had been in vain. I still yearn for a partner who will give me an emotional support. However, just because I feel lonely, I should not settle for less. My heart is not up for negotiation. I would not and will not tolerate things imposed upon me. No matter how lonely I feel at times, I will pick someone who is worthy to be standing by my side. And this is so much important. If that takes 10 years, 20 years, be it. 

6. Create more love and empathy around the people I am with

7. Setting boundaries and leave situations that makes me uncomfortable

8.Give back to my parents.

9.Take a good care of my mental state.

10. Accept that- plans fail, things happen unexpectedly and that life is a rollercoaster. So take a sit and watch it unfold. Don't get attached rather move on. Snap out of it and be present like a pigeon. 

And never, ever, lose hope.