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Day 37

I am proud of myself for not picking up my phone and calling him. Honestly I was on the verge of calling him last few nights but I controlled myself. You know what I did instead? This may sound super crazy, but I actually made a voice note, saying everything I wanted to tell him, pretended I was on call with him and then listened to the record and cried and deleted it. It helped me feel better.

Do you realize, how much I am infatuated as a person? I always need to jump from one obsession to another to stop feeling lonely and that's an unhealthy behavior. Talking with him would mean losing the last ounce of my self respect, and I don't think I should do that to myself. I deserve to be treated right, and he is never going to make me a priority like I did him. Whenever I realize this, I distance myself and don't miss him anymore.
It's all about resistance and persistence when it comes to getting over someone. I think I can do this. I don't want to fall back to him just because he is familiar. I know my mind and body is not ready to meet/talk with a new person, but it will eventually, and til that day I want to do self-care and be patient with myself. It is not easy but it is not impossible. I will feel those feelings again for another person, it is just a matter of time. I will be okay.

I took one class today and I also applied for internship. Baby steps.

I am not gonna be depressed over some guy who is not sure about me. 

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