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6 to 8 months until I complete all my courses and apply myself for an internship. Step out in the corporate world...I am quite puzzled. Time moves so fast. But I want it to be over. Seeing my dad paying for my tuition fees has been painful enough. I want to pay him back.

This month, I have been quite blunt toward everything. Especially toward fasting. Reconnecting. I have been quite out of the path. I know He is watching me and I will have to answer to him on the day of judgement but for some weird reason I cannot put myself through it. This life somehow becomes the utmost focus, I cannot seem to think about afterlife, being alive and breathing. It is impossible to not get distracted in this materialistic world. Something that is after death is difficult to imagine, difficult to foresee when all you have is now. I am 23 years old. I feel so incomplete. I feel like I am waiting for a drastic thing to happen to me and transform me. There is not much content inside of me...I want to become so much. So much. But I have so little time. It scares me. What if before having to prove myself,  I just die. I fear this unknown.








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