Everly

I think every girl dreams a wedding, growing up. I have a wedding planned in the back of my head, I mentally list down things I find eligible for my future wedding and I have been saying wedding a lot. It is because of the Royals who just got married past Saturday and I can't stop obsessing over the videos, the memes, the picture perfect couple. Though there's no such chance of me getting wed, At least not for a year and half, but I really do am fancying a wedding! That guy my mom's told me about, who's mother is my mother's friend, (who I stalked on social media for couple of days) and who might have a chance of meeting me in person in future. That's what my mom tells me. But never have I thought, in actual terms, that he would find his way back to me! When I, out of sheer curiosity sent him a follow request on instagram with showing my first name only, I wasn't sure if he knew me, or if he has by any chance, stalked my profile. I was happy when he ac...

The first day of Ramadan. It was alright. I performed the obligatory prayers, I read the Quran...As I said, this holy month I am going to try reconnecting with my religion, as in the past I have been neglecting the basic rules. Gotta say, I feel good. Refreshed. So I just finished watching the cheesiest Hollywood movie, I guess I am not the target audience for that film, because it seemed extremely childish and romantic and I don't know why but I kept watching it til the end. I feel kind of old for this. I am old and boring. I don't enjoy romantic gestures, I don't enjoy silly emotions, I crave stability but back in my teen days, I used to swoon over these sort of films...HAHA. Such a silly girl. Is time moving fast or me?

Gaza Massacre got me shook...Why is it that,our religion is said to be the religion of peace yet the people, the countries, the nation following the religion hardly have unity among them and rejoice in blood bath? Ramadan is starting and I guess I am a bit afraid that I would mess up my sleep cycle again. It took me a lot of will power to avoid afternoon naps and sleep at nights instead of days, I hope I don't mess it up again. Bit tired from class. Tomorrow's weekend. I am happy.

Apparently the things that caught my eyes recently, were Trump's withdrawal of Iran nuclear deal situation, Iran-Israel trade war, Bangladesh's export-import deficit, Bangladesh trying to move toward a cashless society-encouraging master/visa cards on day to day transactions, Scientist David Goodall's euthanasia in Switzerland.... Yes I read the newspaper. In fact I have been forcing myself on this habit since last week, It has been difficult on me I gotta say, since I am not much of a "Skimming" reader of articles. When I read something, I have to go to the core of it, hence go through all of it, to understand the context...So reading a newspaper, takes me about one and half hour everyday...In this era of internet, no wonder why it is so difficult to actually read a whole piece. However I totally skip the sports section....I sincerely don't give a damn about sports unless it's world cup cricket or FIFA on TV, that I watch not read. I am just not ...

My grandmother is admitted to the hospital in USA. She's got high fever and cysts in her pancreas, which everyone is hoping not cancer, because if it turns out cancer she wouldn't have much of time. My aunts and uncle are highly educated people, less emotional than my mother of course, more intelligent and know how to deal with critical situations like this. One of them is a doctor in UK. My uncle works in google. I come from a bloodline of overachievers from my mother's side. The point is she is in good hands. I have always kept my distance from Nanu, due to my intimacy issues with old people. It started with Dadu actually. I have been not much of a poised, lady like grand-daughter to be likable. And the fact that, I had to share a room with Nanu when she used to stay at our house, made me turn cold towards her and I think I made it pretty clear when I argued with my parents about not having a room of my own loudly, for her to listen at night.That is the thing, I ...

New Semester! I had Accounting and Marketing today, and I was never so focused in class! This semester break had me transformed into a sincere student, yeah. I didn't go on that date with Demon, we never discussed it ever again. He sent me snaps for a day or two but I got scared and stopped hitting him with texts. I guess I am not ready, for a Date. I don't know if I'll ever be...I am so bad at conversations with guys...Literally...And the unknown scares me....I don't want to deal with a phase of awkwardness to have something going on in the name of an affair...I guess I am not ready for love yet. Not my cup of tea. I think what is most attractive about a guy to me is the effort he makes. That shows he cares. And if he wants me, he takes action. I have met a fair amount of guys who were attracted by me but didn't do a single wretched thing about it. Actions speak more than words do. I don't know about other girls but this is me, and this is when I f...

To be able to sit back and let the universe do its job is no easy work. When you say, believe the timing of your life and fate, do you actually expect me to do nothing? Doing nothing is so much harder than doing something. Trust me when I say this. Being home has its perks but being home in vain is what makes me crestfallen. I wish to speed the time up so I could go classes again, meet my friends, laugh at silly things. What I realized staying home a month without having to do anything is...I am the most pampered adult in the family. And it doesn't make me get out of the comfort zone. I am not doing anything substantial in my life that could bring me fortune in the future. When I am in the university, my thoughts stop processing because I engage in conversations and forget that I have to become something. When  I am home I get all the anxieties, sometimes movies help to distract me a bit but most often I find myself distracted from the movie itself. I find myself, brooding...

I don't like being alone with my thoughts. Because I am prone to being depressed over things I don't have in my life. Seriously, When will be my turn to live freely? I will be free when I won't have to check for price tags and travel overseas and write about it.