Skip to main content
I don't know what to believe anymore you know.
In two days, there will be a change of a digit and I will be completing 20 years on this earth. In these 20 years, I am no near where I wanted to be. No near the things I wanted to achieve. But.
But I suppose, that's what adult life is like. You get separated from faith and fantasy and get more exposed to the reality of pain and confusion. Of course, it doesn't apply to everybody. There are successful adults of 20 out there. Who worked hard on themselves, who gained something in return.

It is time I accept that, if you don't put an energy on something, it won't have any outcome.
I have to put myself out there. I have to set a constructive goal and work toward it.

I can say, I am not scared of being Kind. Of being called- Innocent. Because, I have encountered people being ruthless, having no sense of character. And it only has driven me to be who I am right now on this very present. Just to make yourself look interesting, you can't just backbite. If you take pleasure by being called a BITCH then you are nothing cool. You know what is attractive?

Boldness of character. Not hypocrisy.

2016 has made the scope for me to meet new people and see things in different light and gain perspective. You cannot change a person for your own ego. You let people be who they are. You accept. That's what I learned. And why would I try fitting in? Why would I change myself or pretend to be cool?

Let's face it. I am nice. I am neutral with expressing hate. I am never going to transform into a bitchy personality, because the world is full of it. I like being this unique. I like when people get shocked by my kindness. I like when they see me, they see only the good.

I like it and I am not gonna change myself for anything. Here's to 2017. Operation more Self-Love.







Comments

Popular posts from this blog

spring is almost here

Hi B,  Season is changing. The hard days are almost over.  The city I live in has turned so beautiful, I get overwhelmed by the beauty.  Tulips are in. Cherry blossoms are blossoming.  Magnolia, Beautiful white flowers, name unknown to me.  Taking a walk out feels like a celebration of life.  It feels like I'm falling in love with the city.  I remember when I first moved here 2 years ago, the excitement and the crippling anxiety of starting a new life from scratch. Now, after 2 years, I feel a warmth and love for the place.  I don't know if I would feel the same when the winter comes though. Seasonal depression is no joke.  My new mantra for life now is to chill.  Praise the nature and find pretty little corners in the city.  Write poems.  Paint, maybe.  Seek positivity.  Love. Be kind to self. No rush. Read books. Just flow.

long distance again

 I came back from my trip. It was amazing 2 weeks of my life. Seeing him again after so long felt strange yet peaceful. I finally got to be in his arms again. 2 weeks flew by and now I am back home and back to work and normal hustle and bustle of life.  He got an extension offer and decided to stay for another 3 months. It is sad because he was supposed to be back next month. He asked me if he should take it and despite having my heart aching I supported him in the decision. It is not confirmed yet but he probably be staying another 3. Another 5 months of long distance. How am I going to survive the winter by myself? I don't know. Honestly, in my heart, I don't care about how much compensation he be getting. I miss him so much and this long distance thing is killing me inside. Today is Friday night and instead of cuddles and movie, I am home alone. No plans to look forward. No one to talk to. I am the loneliest girl on earth right now. He is probably sleeping and not picking u...

winter together

 Dear B,  Sorry I've been so MIA. Here's the update you missed - My husband came back! He wasn't approved for those 3 months of extension. I've been getting enough cuddles and kisses to survive this winter.  Yes, winter is here. Never underestimate the Canadian winter. It's the worst. Everything is grey and dark. However, I am looking forward to going home in March. I'm so excited to see my friends again. Most importantly my parents and brother. It feels a strange kind of feeling. I am planning to 'visit' the place I was born and call home. It is definitely a new kind of feeling.  Things been okay. We are okay. I am glad to have him back.  We bought a new couch and a coffee table. It's still in back order and I'm impatiently waiting for them to arrive.  Can't believe only 4 days left to 2026. Time is flying so quick. Hope we talk again, B. I swear I missed you!