I want to do something crazy. Something reckless and stupid. Something out of the zone. You know what zone I am talking about. I feel like I am suffocating in it. Why can't I be free. free from all of this crap. There is no right and wrong. The sense of right and wrong are created by people. Generations to generations. DO THAT,DON'T DO THAT. I am tired of this. I want to do what I like. For once in my life, I want to be free. I want to get drunk and high. Then fall back again into this normal boring stupid fucked up life. Oops my bad. My life isn't fucked up, I wish it was. It's normal. SO normal that I want to kill myself. I am not kidding... I literally want to do something crazy. For myself. Something that I will remember lying in my deathbed and crackle in glee.
Dear B, I don't watch the news but there has been a lot of speculations on social media of a possible world war III. My sister just texted me that I should save up money as we don't know what that might do to the economy. It is ironic because I just ordered something online last night. Every time I go out, I spend. I don't even have a good paying job and I spend like I have full time. However, one thing I learned from my past is that there is no point in stressing about the future. What I have control over is now. I can either live in the moment or ruin it by ruminating and what good will it bring to my life? Living alone can get boring. However, I am trying to find things to do. Maybe I will visit a bookstore today. Lets see. I have rearranged the furnitures yesterday. Cleaned as well. The place looks good. Maybe I will go IKEA. I love it there. Even though I can't afford furnitures, I just enjoy looking at them. Oh what to tell you B. My in-laws are coming this...
Comments
Post a Comment