I want to do something crazy. Something reckless and stupid. Something out of the zone. You know what zone I am talking about. I feel like I am suffocating in it. Why can't I be free. free from all of this crap. There is no right and wrong. The sense of right and wrong are created by people. Generations to generations. DO THAT,DON'T DO THAT. I am tired of this. I want to do what I like. For once in my life, I want to be free. I want to get drunk and high. Then fall back again into this normal boring stupid fucked up life. Oops my bad. My life isn't fucked up, I wish it was. It's normal. SO normal that I want to kill myself. I am not kidding... I literally want to do something crazy. For myself. Something that I will remember lying in my deathbed and crackle in glee.
Hi B, Season is changing. The hard days are almost over. The city I live in has turned so beautiful, I get overwhelmed by the beauty. Tulips are in. Cherry blossoms are blossoming. Magnolia, Beautiful white flowers, name unknown to me. Taking a walk out feels like a celebration of life. It feels like I'm falling in love with the city. I remember when I first moved here 2 years ago, the excitement and the crippling anxiety of starting a new life from scratch. Now, after 2 years, I feel a warmth and love for the place. I don't know if I would feel the same when the winter comes though. Seasonal depression is no joke. My new mantra for life now is to chill. Praise the nature and find pretty little corners in the city. Write poems. Paint, maybe. Seek positivity. Love. Be kind to self. No rush. Read books. Just flow.
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