I am falling into something I was trying to avoid all along.
i was craving for friends, and I've got amazing friends except one of them is I consider my only friend. She is so nice. Yeah. Turtle dove. Her real name also starts with T. :) There's nothing to complain about. University is being bearable only because of her. She appreciates me in all things, nothing I can want as more as that in a friend. In past I had hung out with people who didn't actually made me feel good about myself. Except Ankan and Ann. Tho they were brutally honest but never put me down. But since they are no longer hanging out with me, I needed someone who I could feel comfort with. Because, firstly I am not so open around boys. I feel awkward. And sometimes I crush. Secondly, I don't need a valid reason to crush on a boy. If he knows what he is talking about, I am into him. If he is funny, I am into him so bad.
Crush isn't a serious thing. Serious issue is when you confuse a friendship with flirting. I feel like I am doing that my whole life. If any boy approach to talk with me, I feel nervous. Thoughts come in mind, such as- does he like me? Do I like him? Is he actually trying to be my friend? My intuition send me signals. Like "BEHAVE" "DON'T SMILE TOO MUCH" "HE WILL THINK OTHERWISE" And I don't know recently. I had hung out some boys in our class. All seem okay. But there's this one guy, who is hilarious, and I sorta like him. He was in my group and I laughed too much at his jokes, duh. But now our presentation is over and he will no longer be hanging out with me which is sad. I kind of wanted to be around him more.
There's this other guy, who you know who. S&H's secret admirer, by the way, S&H said no to him. And he is broken now and he suddenly is trying to be extra friendly to me. IDK. He also told me he has sort of a crush on me....which is weird in so many levels. He was first psyched about S&H and now suddenly. Where is this coming from?
I hope he just wants to be my friend. Nothing more, because I don't have much to offer. Time or effort. Plus all my cousins disapproves him. I don't wanna be with someone who my cousins think is creepy. Plus maybe he is just trying to build a friendship. Annoyingly friendly is a term I wanna use. I don't have clue what to do, if I back off, things will get awkward. If I keep things forward, things will get awkward. I don't know. I should just keep it cool. Like I don't give a damn if it's friendship/flirting. No harm in that.
i was craving for friends, and I've got amazing friends except one of them is I consider my only friend. She is so nice. Yeah. Turtle dove. Her real name also starts with T. :) There's nothing to complain about. University is being bearable only because of her. She appreciates me in all things, nothing I can want as more as that in a friend. In past I had hung out with people who didn't actually made me feel good about myself. Except Ankan and Ann. Tho they were brutally honest but never put me down. But since they are no longer hanging out with me, I needed someone who I could feel comfort with. Because, firstly I am not so open around boys. I feel awkward. And sometimes I crush. Secondly, I don't need a valid reason to crush on a boy. If he knows what he is talking about, I am into him. If he is funny, I am into him so bad.
Crush isn't a serious thing. Serious issue is when you confuse a friendship with flirting. I feel like I am doing that my whole life. If any boy approach to talk with me, I feel nervous. Thoughts come in mind, such as- does he like me? Do I like him? Is he actually trying to be my friend? My intuition send me signals. Like "BEHAVE" "DON'T SMILE TOO MUCH" "HE WILL THINK OTHERWISE" And I don't know recently. I had hung out some boys in our class. All seem okay. But there's this one guy, who is hilarious, and I sorta like him. He was in my group and I laughed too much at his jokes, duh. But now our presentation is over and he will no longer be hanging out with me which is sad. I kind of wanted to be around him more.
There's this other guy, who you know who. S&H's secret admirer, by the way, S&H said no to him. And he is broken now and he suddenly is trying to be extra friendly to me. IDK. He also told me he has sort of a crush on me....which is weird in so many levels. He was first psyched about S&H and now suddenly. Where is this coming from?
I hope he just wants to be my friend. Nothing more, because I don't have much to offer. Time or effort. Plus all my cousins disapproves him. I don't wanna be with someone who my cousins think is creepy. Plus maybe he is just trying to build a friendship. Annoyingly friendly is a term I wanna use. I don't have clue what to do, if I back off, things will get awkward. If I keep things forward, things will get awkward. I don't know. I should just keep it cool. Like I don't give a damn if it's friendship/flirting. No harm in that.
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