22.09.2014, 1.30 pm
I hate writing things up as in hand. I'm more into typing. I have a password protected MS Word document where I confess things up straight. Now, I got into writing and it's damn painful because I suck at spellings and my handwriting is really bad. Not that I care. I had no choice because my grandma is here staying with us. She blocked the room where my pc is. And I don't think it's a good idea to go there and type up my confessions because I have a slight feeling that she peeks into the screen. I'd be in trouble if she reads all that. So I don't wanna take any chance.
The reason I'm telling you all this crap is that I can't live like this, without confessing things, telling things that happen in my ordinary life. I can't live without writing/typing something that eats up my brain at night.I would be fine if it was like before, when Api was Api. When Api was the only person I used to have late night talks with. But Api is not the person I share things anymore.She hardly pays heed to me now. I don't blame her.She got married yesterday.She has a husband now whom she has to call and talk late at night.She is not married off yet. She's gonna go to her husband's place in December. Holud, wed reception then we'd see off her. But the pain of missing her started already.I don't find the Api I used to talk to so much about things.She's now always busy on phone with Bhaiya. I don't mind or anything. It's obvious for her to pay more attention to her husband. I guess I'm just lonely. :(
Clearly I'm not telling things up straight on this diary like I did on my Ms document. But I'd keep on writing. That gonna bring some discipline in my mind.And my handwriting might improve. I said "might".
So Api's Akhkt was interesting. I had parlor make up on and looked so distinctive. My eyes were covered up in eye-shadows and fake eyelashes. I hardly could blink. And tell you what, my orna was all messed up.I pinned it up but hardly could handle it. These insecurities, I'll never manage to get away.I am super insecure about my hair,face,eye make-up on Api's akht. There's gonna be pictures you know.And I'd look like a Vootni. The thought is killing me even!
I hate writing things up as in hand. I'm more into typing. I have a password protected MS Word document where I confess things up straight. Now, I got into writing and it's damn painful because I suck at spellings and my handwriting is really bad. Not that I care. I had no choice because my grandma is here staying with us. She blocked the room where my pc is. And I don't think it's a good idea to go there and type up my confessions because I have a slight feeling that she peeks into the screen. I'd be in trouble if she reads all that. So I don't wanna take any chance.
The reason I'm telling you all this crap is that I can't live like this, without confessing things, telling things that happen in my ordinary life. I can't live without writing/typing something that eats up my brain at night.I would be fine if it was like before, when Api was Api. When Api was the only person I used to have late night talks with. But Api is not the person I share things anymore.She hardly pays heed to me now. I don't blame her.She got married yesterday.She has a husband now whom she has to call and talk late at night.She is not married off yet. She's gonna go to her husband's place in December. Holud, wed reception then we'd see off her. But the pain of missing her started already.I don't find the Api I used to talk to so much about things.She's now always busy on phone with Bhaiya. I don't mind or anything. It's obvious for her to pay more attention to her husband. I guess I'm just lonely. :(
Clearly I'm not telling things up straight on this diary like I did on my Ms document. But I'd keep on writing. That gonna bring some discipline in my mind.And my handwriting might improve. I said "might".
So Api's Akhkt was interesting. I had parlor make up on and looked so distinctive. My eyes were covered up in eye-shadows and fake eyelashes. I hardly could blink. And tell you what, my orna was all messed up.I pinned it up but hardly could handle it. These insecurities, I'll never manage to get away.I am super insecure about my hair,face,eye make-up on Api's akht. There's gonna be pictures you know.And I'd look like a Vootni. The thought is killing me even!
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