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16.04.2015
I literally laughed my ass off reading this diary. That page I wrote after api's akht, about six months back nearly cracked me up. Seriously, I wrote those things? I can't remember myself writing this diary. I don't even remember I had kept a diary.It took me just six months to realize how I've changed.I don't feel any urge or have inappropriate thoughts about him like I used to...just six months back.lol I had never actually fallen for him that way. He's just my teacher and I adore him-that's it. Now when I read about those feelings it cracks me up. It entertains me, really. :P

Right now I'm just pretending to my dad that I'm studying for my exam. I simply can't study in the study gaps. But that's the whole point of study gaps, right? You study and complete the whole syllabus before the exam day and when the night comes you're in relief that you're not under-prepared. I, on the other hand, not seem to understand the point. I struggle myself the night before every exam and in between the study gaps I do random things like writing in my diary.

I can't believe just in six months, my sister had married, left her house,went to her in-law's and lost her virginity.It just seems so unreal. Because just 7 months back she was with me, we were typically sisters and I didn't have my own room. I had two people living with me in my room. Now look at me. I have such privacy that I could just write naked. Because I have a room of my own. Haha. I don't have my clothes on. I'm actually writing naked! GOTCHA! How stupid of you to even think that for a second? I'm sober, an innocent little flower. I wouldn't dare to do anything nude. But I gotta say, sleeping naked is fun. It gives you a good night sleep. Not that I've tried. Eww, you've a dirty mind!

I hate those math equations in Finance. Those are hard to keep in my memory. It bores me more than anything could. I slept for like 11 hours. Still reading those equations, makes me wanna take naps. It makes me wanna curl up with my brother's ipad and finish off a chapter of the book I'm currently reading- Unbearable lightness by Portia De Rossi. And sleep after I finish it.
The story is real. You know Portia, right? Ellen Degenorous's wife Portia? I'd just guess you know her. SO  the story is about how she used to struggle withh her weight when she was a model. Being a model means you have to be perfect and confident. She used to starve and purge after eating to lose weight. Let me clarify "purging"- she used to throw up after she ate something rich or fatty something that could gain her weight...she had some serious issues yeah.What I liked about the book is that she made it completely honest about herself. It has a touching and pitiful story-line and I'm impressed how she survived through all these. That she's written a book about this. The next on my reading list is Khaled Hosseini's And the mountains echoed. Api and Rhivu bhaiya gave it to me.Getting a hard copy of a new best seller is beyond bliss. I can't wait to curl up with that book with a steamy cup of tea in a summer afternoon.After this painful HSC ends. Ugh.
After HSC there's gonna be lot happening,Admission tests,The results are what freak me out, What if I don't get into any varsities I apply for and my father just gets disappointed in me and stops my education life? This isn't gonna happen because my father, he's a complete sweetheart. He would just wanna admit me to a private university. But I wouldn't wanna be a burden. We're not rich, We're middle class people. Plus, I want to make my father proud by getting into DU. But the problem is I don't study. Like. At all.








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