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nanu is feeling really sick tonight. I left her in the room and moved to the living room couch.My sister is staying with her.As always I turned out to be a selfish granddaughter.Just a minute ago I was crying for not having feelings for her.Why am I always like that? Why can't I spend a single night beside her and listen to bed night stories like all other grand kids?
 I suck at pretending I love her.I suck at being a granddaughter. After all those years of holding me on her lap, sometimes feeding me,sometimes giving me a bath when I was little,she's still a stranger to me.

I try but I get nothing.I am numb.

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