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Dear B,

I had a pretty rough week last month. Super rough. I couldn't stop crying...I could not sleep without hearing someone's voice assuring me I am not alone. Thank god for that friend in UK. He was there for me the painful days and also gave me tough love when I was being illogical and stupid.

I got my heart broken again. And this time, the man I was with lied and deceived and made fake promises. I wasn't a saint either. I over reacted on some aspects from my part too. But after cutting him off, I realized how imperfect we were for each other. How much there were miscommunication. I talked with him because I felt lonely. I tried to shove him into my life because somehow it made sense to be with him rather than being with no one. 

I realized his words were just words. He didn't try to make up with me. We basically ghosted each other. And after a week of wailing and getting busy with work and also talking with people from Tinder I got over the painful part. He doesn't come into my mind anymore, he feels almost as a stranger as if we never did anything or said anything....All memories kind of erased. Forgotten to the extent that I feel completely numb towards him. And all of this happened within the span of one and half week.

I guess your heart kind of gets accustomed to the hurting after a few blow. I feel weird sometimes. Some words still haunt me, it feels like a dejavu when I am told the same thing over and over and make the same mistake again to trust someone for what they say to me. 'I like you more when you're horny'. This haunts me every time I talk with a new man. They all say the same thing, and I still continue talking with them and get hurt in the long run...

What has changed is that I am more immune to heart breaks now. More immune to men being stupid jerks and sweet talking their way into my pants.

Life is too short to not try anything.

And I am okay. I am good. Everything is a learning opportunity. And I want to take it. 

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