Everly

my new fav show to binge is Everybody Loves Raymond. I have watched it couple of times on Tv when I was a kid, this time I am enjoying more, maybe because of the stormy weather, cozy bed, my laptop and I don't feel anxious laying up lazy anymore... This show reminds me how simple and meaningful 90s lives were and I like how family friendly it is...SO far, I have one complain though, the women on the show are always taking care of kids and cooking and cleaning all the time, it is kind of degrading/stereotyping but then again they seem to be more intelligent than men are in the show, so kind of balances it out...I never liked a sitcom this much after F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Good for me!

Last year, I couldn't bring myself to be optimistic about anything. I thought this is it. I am going to be miserable like this as long as I live. I sobbed every night, didn't feel safe in my own house, I worried myself, lost a pile of hair, got bald in one spot of my scalp. I worried that my brother would never be okay again, he would always have this impractical thoughts and the problems would go on and on forever. Here's the thing, I still got problems in my life but I am not miserable, I am depressed though, I sleep overly obsessively and since I am on my semester break, I seriously don't find any motive to wake up in the mornings....But one thing is different. I feel like I am gonna be okay. I have this optimism in me now, that whatever happens, I will be able to tackle it. I have it in me. No matter how belittle my parents make me feel at times, I know I am not a wasted space, I can do what I will to, the universe will help me be what I want to... Being a daug...

Apparently I am in short of 2 marks to get my grade changed to A. Sir has not replied my mail, nor has he uploaded gpa on the website. So I am kind of in an anxious situation, I check my grades every now and then, I need that A for validation, he has been a difficult faculty. Other than that, my life is going quite well. I am pumped up to meet Demon, YES, we've decided a place for a meet up, right by my house, there's this bookstore and I suggested it because my mom is not going to let me borrow car, even she does she would ask me thousand questions on my whereabouts. He insisted we meet so I honestly told him about my situation with my protective parents and told him about the bookstore, He is not psyched about the place but eventually agreed.... I am so scared. I never ever been on a date before. And I don't know him that well. It is going to be awkward....I don't feel much going on for him, I feel like if I knew him more, it would've been less scary...Bu...

So what I have to search on google how should I reply him with a flirty twist, So what? Can you blame me? How do people do it? I want to appear as effortless as possible but to be effortless you've to put so much effort, like oh my god. I don't know for how long, I'd be able to pull this, but every time when I think, he is going to lose interest, he doesn't. In fact, he asked me to try a restaurant with him last week and I had to act cool so I replied in the most casual way, if I can I will but wouldn't our meet up be so much awkward? I am so shy and I am so amateur at this dating game and thank god he didn't ask me further on that subject again. The problem is texting. And texting on Snapchat is a whole another level challenge. You never know, if he is online, You never know if he's actually busy or showing off to be busy. And the texts, they disappear after you read it. So basically I don't get to reread our messages, I mostly forget what we cha...

Talk about too much stalking. I don't have enough evidence to back up my assumption, but I think Damon's got a brother, who at 18 years old committed suicide. I even searched on Dhaka Tribune articles, I know the guy's name from his facebook cover picture, he's got the same tittle name but there was no mention of him being his brother. All I know, Damon's got a younger sister, when I asked him on text, how many siblings you have( on a complete randomness, weeks ago when I didn't know any of his past) He completely ignored it first and then replied me after a long period. Now I know why he hesitated. He has a traumatizing past, or he might have. I still don't know if that guy was his biological brother. I don't know why I got so invested in knowing the whole story, since I cannot directly ask him, I browsed through the net and I watched some tributes on youtube. The guy was an excellent student and on the pictures, he looked so perfectly fine, I wish ...

I am SO HAPPY today. I got A on finance! My mission is half accomplished. I have one other course to take care of. Besides today's final wasn't that good so I am opting a B minus on this one. Economics is out of the picture. I'll start studying for Management from tomorrow. This is the first time ever, I felt like I was in charge and the feeling is sensational. My plans don't normally work out, This is too good to be true. :)

SO this year's birthday was low key. But I don't have any complaints. I kinda like being in my pajamas, eating leftover chocolate cake while watching tv series. I am so blessed that I am alive at this point and have my family and friends all with me. In the present this is what I cherish. On a complete different note. Do you know, Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan separated? I mean talk about soul mates. This is actually very sad because I used to ship this celeb couple so much that I named my blog after their baby girl. This must be hard on Everly. Seeing parents separate must be traumatizing. Umm, so the Demon guy is on my snapchat now. Texting is difficult. You never know what the other person is interpreting and actually saying. So far, I think he is not so serious, or could be but he barely asks me any personal questions. I've got to know he was a drop out in his junior year. And started his own business but I don't know if he is successful in what he's doing...

I've been watching Modest Street channel on youtube. It's of a woman who does hijab styling and makeup. She is a revert to Islam and I had watched her revert story and it kind of got into me how I lavishly spent my time doing nothing and this lady, searched for the truth and right direction and I don't know but something about her face, her way of perceiving things motivated me. I want what she has. She looks so peaceful in what she's preaching. It is not like she hasn't got problems in her life. I mean she has five kids to take care and from her social media, I am assuming she's separated with her husband but she doesn't go whining about her personal life instead she puts on an inspiring face toward life and that is something. I feel like I have gotten very personal because I've been religiously watching her daily snapchat stories and she is super active in it, she batters a lot. She also speaks in sylhoti accent ( She is half gujrati and half kenyan...