January almost gone and I am taking my life too lightly yet.
Thinking about him is the crime I commit on a daily basis. It is not an affectionate feeling I feel toward him, it is more of a "I wonder why I used to like him" sort of a feeling...I know by sure, I don't love him anymore. I can't be. But he is in my mind for quite sometime, I'd like to say, he is just an old pattern, I've tried too hard to get rid of. I don't fancy him, if that's what you're thinking. I don't get butterflies or giggles when he's around. These days, we don't even exchange a word, let alone smiles and we act like we don't exist to each other.
Too many of my friends know, T and I had a crush on music guy, since tarc. But it is past tense now. I don't know about T tho, sometimes I feel like she still likes him quite. But I literally don't have any kind of cravings, the more he's not around, I am happy. But like I said, he has become my habit, my idle mind likes to wonder, and I promise you there is no such desperation in my heart to be even his friend. I sort of abandoned him, I just don't like him anymore. It is that simple. There is no twisted feeling inside there, just trust me on this.
There has been a bit of drama going on between Riley(Blog nickname) and Music Guy. And I am very much in mood to talk about this. So Riley had broken up with her boyfriend last year whose also our friend, let's name him Freddy, and our squad holds responsible Riley's feelings for Music Guy to come between their affair....Rumor has it Riley is head over the hills for M but M doesn't pay much heed to her to begin with....But Freddy is too invested on R and meanwhile getting hurt. I don't know why M is even friends with R. He must know about R... R just doesn't know how desperate she looks to us. Everybody makes fun of her in secret.I am loving the drama tho. Last year, there was less going on, this year might fulfill it...
Speaking of which, I heard my mother's friend's son is coming to Dhaka maybe in March or something, I don't know the seriousness of the matter, but my mother said, if they like me which is a rare chance as of her opinion, I'd be married off within a year. You know, I do stalk his profile on facebook now and then, don't know if he does of mine, and I kinda sorta don't hate the idea. I mean what if, what if, we meet each other and something clicks. I mean there is certain sweetness in arranged marriage right? Ugh look at me, pathetic...Why do I always think ahead of time? Seriously what if, the guy of my mother's dreams turns to me and says You're too young for this?
I mean I'd be a bit heart broken if I get rejected, and can you blame me for it? I get attached to simplest things and I go into self analysis in just a snap...And my mother is not kind toward me per se, she often thinks highly of herself to be deserving a daughter like me.
When I say marriage, there is a lot of things involved than just a man and woman bonding on a piece of paper...The preparation of it, the forced encounter, the suspense, the waiting, the parents, the complexity of it, too big for me to handle. And what is expected of the woman, is very much depended on the outer aspects, I am not sure how I am going to survive this when the time comes. I get anxious even looking at his photo. I really shouldn't think ahead of time...Let's just take matters as lightly as possible....
My classes are going fine, I have quiz on sunday. I haven't studied for it yet, been watching GOSSIP GIRL. Do you think I have its influence on my writing on today's post?
xoxo
Thinking about him is the crime I commit on a daily basis. It is not an affectionate feeling I feel toward him, it is more of a "I wonder why I used to like him" sort of a feeling...I know by sure, I don't love him anymore. I can't be. But he is in my mind for quite sometime, I'd like to say, he is just an old pattern, I've tried too hard to get rid of. I don't fancy him, if that's what you're thinking. I don't get butterflies or giggles when he's around. These days, we don't even exchange a word, let alone smiles and we act like we don't exist to each other.
Too many of my friends know, T and I had a crush on music guy, since tarc. But it is past tense now. I don't know about T tho, sometimes I feel like she still likes him quite. But I literally don't have any kind of cravings, the more he's not around, I am happy. But like I said, he has become my habit, my idle mind likes to wonder, and I promise you there is no such desperation in my heart to be even his friend. I sort of abandoned him, I just don't like him anymore. It is that simple. There is no twisted feeling inside there, just trust me on this.
There has been a bit of drama going on between Riley(Blog nickname) and Music Guy. And I am very much in mood to talk about this. So Riley had broken up with her boyfriend last year whose also our friend, let's name him Freddy, and our squad holds responsible Riley's feelings for Music Guy to come between their affair....Rumor has it Riley is head over the hills for M but M doesn't pay much heed to her to begin with....But Freddy is too invested on R and meanwhile getting hurt. I don't know why M is even friends with R. He must know about R... R just doesn't know how desperate she looks to us. Everybody makes fun of her in secret.I am loving the drama tho. Last year, there was less going on, this year might fulfill it...
Speaking of which, I heard my mother's friend's son is coming to Dhaka maybe in March or something, I don't know the seriousness of the matter, but my mother said, if they like me which is a rare chance as of her opinion, I'd be married off within a year. You know, I do stalk his profile on facebook now and then, don't know if he does of mine, and I kinda sorta don't hate the idea. I mean what if, what if, we meet each other and something clicks. I mean there is certain sweetness in arranged marriage right? Ugh look at me, pathetic...Why do I always think ahead of time? Seriously what if, the guy of my mother's dreams turns to me and says You're too young for this?
I mean I'd be a bit heart broken if I get rejected, and can you blame me for it? I get attached to simplest things and I go into self analysis in just a snap...And my mother is not kind toward me per se, she often thinks highly of herself to be deserving a daughter like me.
When I say marriage, there is a lot of things involved than just a man and woman bonding on a piece of paper...The preparation of it, the forced encounter, the suspense, the waiting, the parents, the complexity of it, too big for me to handle. And what is expected of the woman, is very much depended on the outer aspects, I am not sure how I am going to survive this when the time comes. I get anxious even looking at his photo. I really shouldn't think ahead of time...Let's just take matters as lightly as possible....
My classes are going fine, I have quiz on sunday. I haven't studied for it yet, been watching GOSSIP GIRL. Do you think I have its influence on my writing on today's post?
xoxo
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