spring is almost here

To want things to go perfect is a deluded notion. There are multiple of probable results. Things can go perfect. It can go bad. It can go worst. It can go just fine, but not exceed your expectations. Now if you expect the worst things happening to you, there are chances that good things will come in your way, though they're not quoted to be wonderful, but, in your worst imaginations, it will turn out just great. You would know that life doesn't have to be perfect to be wonderful. And everybody fights their own battles. Everybody has their own kind of break downs. One person's strength cannot be derrived from other person's weakness. Similarly one's failure aren't anyone's success. Each and everyone has their own battle to win or lose. The idea of being in a group, opting for a collective growth is bullshit. You alone stand for your progress and defeat...

To be in class of 30 students, with a teacher expecting and grading us in the same level, I often find myself falling behind in the system, often question the inability of being active participant in class, and the inspiration I lose for studying hard, I lose it to the team. Nobody likes a slow poke or a indecisive loser. I find it rather easy to complete a task on my own. Or with a person I feel comfortable with. I loathe being in a group because you are liable for each person's actions and I tell you what, it is not fun being in that position.

I like being liable to my own actions, in short, carry my own baggage. I don't know why I had to write this note in the middle of the night. I feel so incompetent in my class that I had to find a way to feel better I guess.