I am at computer lab, these days I go to classes early, okay way early. One of the disadvantages of leaving our old house. It was so close to my university. I literally spend an hour and half daily in the car to come to classes. And because we can't detour for the traffic, my dad tells me to come early with him as he has to go to his office in the morning.
Anyway, classes are going fine these days. Only problem is. I am thinking about him too often. It is like a disease. Every moment, I would recall something he said or did or imagine talking to him and it is just not doing me good. I am supposed to move on by now. He is supposed to mean nothing to me. He is not even a good friend of mine, and we don't talk to each other so often. Then why is that I can't shut him up in my mind?
Yesterday, everyone in our friend circle was asked a question- Who would you Kill,marry and hookup? The answer had to be hetro. So it kind of stir everyone's reaction. I obviously didn't say his name into any of the criteria. He also didn't. But I realized this one thing. Whatever he said he wasn't being honest. I know he likes makeup girl. Do you remember make up girl? I saw him glancing at her sideways and then responding with names of girls he doesn't even talk to much, it was like- a way to conceal his interest in makeup girl. Although I know, why he did that. Because I did it for the same reason. This is like high school all over again. I think he is waiting on her, the moment she breaks up with her long distance boyfriend he would dive right in and ask her out. I don't have any hard feelings, I am just saying all these things because there's nowhere I have to be right now, my class is two hours away and I figured let's write some shit to pass some time til Turtle Dove arrives. Most of our friends don't have classes on Thursdays.
You know I never thought I would actually be surrounded with friends in the university, I am such a shy girl. But these days, I am making a lot of changes, I am being open and honest to T. She is like a shield to my social awkwardness. Because of her I got to know so many people, and She, batman and I we hangout everyday after class. We are bonding, I like that. It is so better when you have someone by your side. Before I used to be so closed up as a person. I sometimes think, if I didn't have these people in my life, I would be sitting in the corner of the cafeteria everyday in between classes, be the most pathetic person on this earth. I am thankful to have them, really.I don't have much connection with my school and college friends tho. They've like gone with the wind. It is a pity.
I am the only person in the lab, making clicking noises with this keyboard. I think they are wondering what exactly I am typing this much about. We are not allowed to use facebook or even youtube. I don't like using proxies either, they just view pages in html structure, I hate that.
I felt like Singer Guy ignored me yesterday. I don't particularly know why. He does that sometimes. When make up girl is around, most of his attention goes up to her. And I just hang in the corner, exchange occasional stares and spend the whole of my time with other people. However when make up girl is not around, he cares to say to me, a word or two, mostly to tease me. How can I be so pathetic to talk about him still? You know, sometimes I feel like, he does that intentionally. He knows, I have a bit of something going on for him so he likes taking advantage of that.. When I think, deep enough, how he is as a person, I think he can be very romantic with a girl but only to make her chase him,...That does make me want to him like him less. As I have a good sense of character judgement, I know he is trouble for me. But still I don't know what happens to me, when I am around him, I barely am able to control myself. His voice. It is because of his voice. I am only attracted to his voice.
Yesterday's economics class was exceptional. It was our orientation class, so most of us didn't know what our course instructor looked like...I only knew his name. It was when two of my friends pointed out I knew that our teacher was sitting in the backseat sipping hot coffee. It was like a trap. He wanted to eaves drop what the students say about him...I found him quite interesting...But the problem is, nobody said much things. They were busy carrying on their own conversations, just like we were, gossiping about N's Bali and Singapore tour.But all in all, I like how he pulled it off with the new students, some of them were in quite shock and I saw someone's jaw dropped when he started the class. He was telling us how in early days, he was not recognizable at all, and it was much fun. Students used to mock him thinking he is a student too in the first class.
Anyway, Now I feel like I have nothing else to write about. What now? T hasn't called yet. She is probably stuck in traffic. Maybe I'd go to the library now.
Okay. Signing off.
P.S: I just got a text from T, her grandfather is sick. She's dropped him to the hospital :(
I guess she is gonna be late today.
Anyway, classes are going fine these days. Only problem is. I am thinking about him too often. It is like a disease. Every moment, I would recall something he said or did or imagine talking to him and it is just not doing me good. I am supposed to move on by now. He is supposed to mean nothing to me. He is not even a good friend of mine, and we don't talk to each other so often. Then why is that I can't shut him up in my mind?
Yesterday, everyone in our friend circle was asked a question- Who would you Kill,marry and hookup? The answer had to be hetro. So it kind of stir everyone's reaction. I obviously didn't say his name into any of the criteria. He also didn't. But I realized this one thing. Whatever he said he wasn't being honest. I know he likes makeup girl. Do you remember make up girl? I saw him glancing at her sideways and then responding with names of girls he doesn't even talk to much, it was like- a way to conceal his interest in makeup girl. Although I know, why he did that. Because I did it for the same reason. This is like high school all over again. I think he is waiting on her, the moment she breaks up with her long distance boyfriend he would dive right in and ask her out. I don't have any hard feelings, I am just saying all these things because there's nowhere I have to be right now, my class is two hours away and I figured let's write some shit to pass some time til Turtle Dove arrives. Most of our friends don't have classes on Thursdays.
You know I never thought I would actually be surrounded with friends in the university, I am such a shy girl. But these days, I am making a lot of changes, I am being open and honest to T. She is like a shield to my social awkwardness. Because of her I got to know so many people, and She, batman and I we hangout everyday after class. We are bonding, I like that. It is so better when you have someone by your side. Before I used to be so closed up as a person. I sometimes think, if I didn't have these people in my life, I would be sitting in the corner of the cafeteria everyday in between classes, be the most pathetic person on this earth. I am thankful to have them, really.I don't have much connection with my school and college friends tho. They've like gone with the wind. It is a pity.
I am the only person in the lab, making clicking noises with this keyboard. I think they are wondering what exactly I am typing this much about. We are not allowed to use facebook or even youtube. I don't like using proxies either, they just view pages in html structure, I hate that.
I felt like Singer Guy ignored me yesterday. I don't particularly know why. He does that sometimes. When make up girl is around, most of his attention goes up to her. And I just hang in the corner, exchange occasional stares and spend the whole of my time with other people. However when make up girl is not around, he cares to say to me, a word or two, mostly to tease me. How can I be so pathetic to talk about him still? You know, sometimes I feel like, he does that intentionally. He knows, I have a bit of something going on for him so he likes taking advantage of that.. When I think, deep enough, how he is as a person, I think he can be very romantic with a girl but only to make her chase him,...That does make me want to him like him less. As I have a good sense of character judgement, I know he is trouble for me. But still I don't know what happens to me, when I am around him, I barely am able to control myself. His voice. It is because of his voice. I am only attracted to his voice.
Yesterday's economics class was exceptional. It was our orientation class, so most of us didn't know what our course instructor looked like...I only knew his name. It was when two of my friends pointed out I knew that our teacher was sitting in the backseat sipping hot coffee. It was like a trap. He wanted to eaves drop what the students say about him...I found him quite interesting...But the problem is, nobody said much things. They were busy carrying on their own conversations, just like we were, gossiping about N's Bali and Singapore tour.But all in all, I like how he pulled it off with the new students, some of them were in quite shock and I saw someone's jaw dropped when he started the class. He was telling us how in early days, he was not recognizable at all, and it was much fun. Students used to mock him thinking he is a student too in the first class.
Anyway, Now I feel like I have nothing else to write about. What now? T hasn't called yet. She is probably stuck in traffic. Maybe I'd go to the library now.
Okay. Signing off.
P.S: I just got a text from T, her grandfather is sick. She's dropped him to the hospital :(
I guess she is gonna be late today.
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