spring is almost here

I have said  my fair share of things I hate about my country in the past and it never made me feel bad. But when my America living cousins said how much they hate this country I don't know for what I felt so bad that they feel that way and I also mentally labeled them as privileged kids which they literally are and I felt this unprecedented love for the place I live in, whether it is full garbage, whether it is unbelievably hot in summer and whether there are creepy men in the streets visualizing me naked when I walk past them.

 "How do people live in here!" Wasn't a question my cousin asked, it was a genuine expression of frustration and concern...Because we had a village trip and we didn't have any wifi and the weather was terrible and their tummies were sick and the 13 year old had dust allergies...Okay. Being sick is no joke, I know when you feel your body is sick, nothing seems enjoyable and everything sucks...But every time they visit us, they're like so upset with this place and constantly say how bad this country is and I see their points but I have been living here since I was born here and though I know there's opportunities I am missing out, it is unhealthy and full of pollution but I can't help it. I am surviving and that could've been lot worse.  

There are countries out there, whose people are fighting for their birth rights, there are refugees whose country men are resenting them and they don't have a home, they're living on camps for years and with an uncertainty and they've seen so much. Pardon me for being too emotional. But when my cousin cried just because she was scared of bugs and she was sweating without AC, just made me realize where we live in we sweat everyday, we get diseases because of mosquitoes every year and we suffer and yet these things never in our entire life teared us apart....We are silent sufferers and full of fake smiles.

I know there are things like- we don't wash our dishes by ourselves. Some restaurants don't have self-service. And it is like totally bewildering for them...They're like so stunned when they see us being lazy and I agree, we are lazy. But our house is not centrally air conditioned. We work at the kitchen we vigorously sweat. And our maid gets paid for house hold works so in a way we are employing someone and I think that kind of makes it okay.

I know in compare to America and other countries in the world, Bangladesh is a poor and overpopulated country and in a way I hold the capitalist countries responsible. I know our people, the leaders are corrupted and their system is corrupted but even so, those countries are squeezing out benefits they get from our cheap labor and it just hurts me so much when my cousins say, this country is so bad, so trashy and I don't know I just get so depressed. I am living here and there are people in this country so humble and simple they have like very little needs. They're easily happy and they don't need air conditioning they just need shelter and food and that's it. They don't cry because it is so hot they have real life problems to deal with....And yet they smile they don't brood for 24 hours and ignore their relatives.

I like my cousins. I get amused by how smart they are and how I am lagging behind...But I don't think they see the bigger picture. I don't think they even care that much. It is okay. No hard feelings. Let the birds fly to their homes eventually and forget about this whole experience.