You could die of a fish bone stuck in your throat, and the last words you hear from your father had to be - Can't you eat more carefully for god's sake? Are you blind?!
I thought I was dying for real, and the fact that I was making my parents disappointed in me even at the last min had killed me hypothetically twice inside before the fish bone ever could.
Why can't my parents be happy for once, proud for once that I was born?
Why do I always have to be reminded of all my misdoings and failures in life by them?
Why can't they understand, people's successes aren't inter-related, they are depended on individual's dedication, hard work, talents and skills and just because some people found the door to success that does not mean, I lack in my own experience and skills?
I cannot blame them for being who they are, they are brainwashed by the society. What hurts me most is, they once were my age, They must've known the struggles. The depressions, the changes we go through with every mistakes and failures. Yet they act like, they were never there.
Their lives were simpler. Our lives are more complex and dynamic. Time is different. But we are same genes. Same blood. They should be more considerate knowing that I am their daughter and it is equally hard for me to learn to fit in the society and gain respect.
Relax. I am not frustrated, even so I sound. I am not holding grudge against my parents, I know their actions only define how much blindly they care about me and my brother. But the process is just unhealthy. Maybe for my next generation, I will correct it. It is the easier way out. Since I am not ready to be a mother now, I take all their silliness and over protectiveness as lessons today and maybe someday, I will be better at parenting my kids than my parents ever were.
On a different note, I have finals next month. This semester is ending so soon. I might have lost one A, but the other two I still may have chance to save. Good luck to me.
I thought I was dying for real, and the fact that I was making my parents disappointed in me even at the last min had killed me hypothetically twice inside before the fish bone ever could.
Why can't my parents be happy for once, proud for once that I was born?
Why do I always have to be reminded of all my misdoings and failures in life by them?
Why can't they understand, people's successes aren't inter-related, they are depended on individual's dedication, hard work, talents and skills and just because some people found the door to success that does not mean, I lack in my own experience and skills?
I cannot blame them for being who they are, they are brainwashed by the society. What hurts me most is, they once were my age, They must've known the struggles. The depressions, the changes we go through with every mistakes and failures. Yet they act like, they were never there.
Their lives were simpler. Our lives are more complex and dynamic. Time is different. But we are same genes. Same blood. They should be more considerate knowing that I am their daughter and it is equally hard for me to learn to fit in the society and gain respect.
Relax. I am not frustrated, even so I sound. I am not holding grudge against my parents, I know their actions only define how much blindly they care about me and my brother. But the process is just unhealthy. Maybe for my next generation, I will correct it. It is the easier way out. Since I am not ready to be a mother now, I take all their silliness and over protectiveness as lessons today and maybe someday, I will be better at parenting my kids than my parents ever were.
On a different note, I have finals next month. This semester is ending so soon. I might have lost one A, but the other two I still may have chance to save. Good luck to me.
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