Everly

January almost gone and I am taking my life too lightly yet. Thinking about him is the crime I commit on a daily basis. It is not an affectionate feeling I feel toward him, it is more of a "I wonder why I used to like him" sort of a feeling...I know by sure, I don't love him anymore. I can't be. But he is in my mind for quite sometime, I'd like to say, he is just an old pattern, I've tried too hard to get rid of. I don't fancy him, if that's what you're thinking. I don't get butterflies or giggles when he's around. These days, we don't even exchange a word, let alone smiles and we act like we don't exist to each other. Too many of my friends know, T and I had a crush on music guy, since tarc. But it is past tense now. I don't know about T tho, sometimes I feel like she still likes him quite. But I literally don't have any kind of cravings, the more he's not around, I am happy. But like I said, he has become my habit...

So this season's wedding is done. Have you have any idea how much exhausting a bengali wedding can be especially when you're from the groom side? Me and my cousins had put up dances on several bollywood songs in holud and it was fun. I really enjoyed it. In the midst of it all, I had a very awkward encounter with an uncle who was from the bride side and who was surprisingly keen to talk with me about my education and career. He said he lived in Italy for 12 years, a mechanical engineer. He said, if you want to pursue higher studies abroad, go to Norway or Switzerland and even suggested a few universities for me to check out and said my father got his number so if I needed any help; just call up. I thought it was very generous of him until I got home and asked my father who this uncle was. My father said, he has a son and he is looking for a bride (...) That moment I felt so cheap. First off, it was my father who persuaded me to meet this uncle out of nowhere, and all I...

Happy New Year! I have a youtube channel now and I have posted 2 videos on public, singing about songs. It was shoot with bad quality camera, maybe someday, if I have enough money I will buy a professional one and maybe a microphone and do that with more profession and graphics but until then I might have to settle for this. I have zero subscribers because I don't have the guts to share my channel with anyone so I just left it there, hoping someday somebody would discover it and watch it. Anyway. I have been awake all night. My first day of 2018 was spent sleeping till evening. I hate holidays! it messes up everything. Then I had dinner out, with my cousins, it went great...Umm then I covered Stay with me by Sam Smith on for youtube which I may delete or keep it, I don't know. Is it weird that I am covering songs? I am an amateur at singing, never had singing lessons, I just love to do it, got a lousy voice but I can't help it....Who's gonna watch it anyway, so ...