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Now I'm thinking, "Was I over prepared? Cause my head was all over the place." :-(

The question paper was easy. But I only felt that when I got home. I am disappointed at myself for thinking too much in the examination hall. I just got scared and possessive of the marks. I didn't want my right answers to be cut out by negative marking. So I could have answered 85 percent of the questions and I answered only 70 percent. SO there you go. I am not getting into DU. The results gonna be out in three days and I already have set my mind to the next stage. I have to do something, I thought I would feel a relief today because finally the exam would be over and I wouldn't have to study for 5 big subjects at a row, but I am not feeling any relief. My hard work didn't pay off. I was miserable there. I have to work harder and make sure this doesn't happen at any exams in my life because that feeling is unbearable. When you doubt yourself in the exam hall- it's the worst feeling. I wasn't confident. I gave up at the last moment. And I am so pissed right now. I think all my friends are gonna get in and I ....I am gonna ....

I think I have a higher purpose now. IBA. I have no clue how to make it happen because I happen to be a very clumsy person in hall. Today I felt like my heart was beating outta my chest- I was this scared. Everyone's saying their exam went well and I am here like- NOPE. NOT EVEN NEAR WELL...so frank.  And I blame myself for that. I have to be the best version of myself and the reason that I am so upset is because I've let down my dad. He expects so highly of me,in a good sense,. He's always optimistic about me and I don't want him to be handed a failure. I want him to be happy. He's so close to my heart.


But I tried,okay. I went against my nerve. This normally doesn't happen. I am always caught up in worldly pleasures like watching movies, trying strip dance moves when no one's around, sleeping like pig. At least I wake up in the mornings these days.I have tried every ounce of me to tackle this test. And it's okay if I don't get in. I think I have a higher goal now, this was just a practice.








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