Everly

Oh my gosh I am so gonna enjoy this. So what happened is, the girl who works at our house, is a thief. She steals our things and puts them underneath her clothes in her drawer. She is leaving our house tomorrow so my mom kind of sneaked in her drawers when she went to bath. And guess what she found. My fav shade of nail polish and all sorts of things we've been missing out at our house. So my mom took back all of those without her knowing.Yeah, We stole back our things. Now I am just waiting for her reaction. HAHAHA. This is so fun. We all know and she'll know but we're gonna be completely zip up about this. YEEEK!

Oh my god, I just had the best dinner of the year. My mom's beef vuna is the food of the GODS. I just couldn't stop eating, it melted in my mouth, so soft and enticing. I closed my eyes and devoured piece after piece not worrying a bit about how I am getting so chubby these days. Anyway, I came here to tell you how's my life. I am recovered Alhamdulillah, and I have been healthier than before. My insomnia has recovered too with the dengu, it made me so weak I couldn't help but fall asleep at night. In a way, it helped me to get a normal lifestyle and I am kind of healthy now. My appetites are back and I have never been so present everyday, like every moment I am aware and my thoughts don't torment me anymore all because of the book I am reading, The Power of Now I am just loving this self improvement book, it suggests to focus on the present. The past, future and time are delusions, the present, the now is all you have. It just helped release some tension and I...

i am so sick of the bed. my hair stinks. i miss shampoo. sometimes i feel like im gonna die out, i get scared now sleeping alone just one night. i miss my other hand that was stuck with saline thingie whenever i move my blood goes up so my mom had literally been watching me pee. i feel absolutely vulnerable when i think about my admission test, time is ticking. and im not. wonder how a tiny mosquito bite could get you this much sick? i just realize now how much i could have studied these past week, just gone now, for falling sick this crucial time of my life . Pls Allah. Make me strong and fully recovered, i have so much left to do in this short time. so much.

Everything's just falling apart..........................:(

Hate being sick but love the attention my parents are giving me. Cried last night for I've not been the daughter they deserve, I don't worth this much care. I mean seriously, how did I end up having the nicest, selfless, sweetest parents in the world?  

Telepathy.  Oh gosh. I am having this supernatural activities in my mind recently, not sure it's because I've been binge-watching Supernatural (The tv show of two most handsomest brothers haunting ghosts, spirits and stuffs) this week. Wha- I can't help it. Do you have any idea how awesome Jensen Ackles looks on every freaking episode of that show? I pause every time he puts on his hot and steamy look and oh gosh, he's so perfect with those lips and green eyes and do not even get me started on other sexy parts of his body! Now I am going to say the weirdest thing, that I'm craving to do to his face lately - I wanna lick his sideburns! I don't know why I have this fetish toward him, seriously, but who am I kidding?  That sexy jawline tho, how can anyone resist not to...lick it? ...Umm..Let's just change the subject, shall we? SO yeah. Last night I had this weirdest dream, I was running back and forth in my house, like FLASH and when I woke up I was in s...

Repetition Repetition Repetition. I am so glad to find my uniqueness from everybody in the class. It's just so fascinating to find myself rather than being it. Now, the only thing that I have to do, is to stick with it so it never makes its way out. I am in a process of making it long term. It's amazing how when you're lost, you find your ways through it. It's a gift you give yourself. All the answers are there, in your head, you just have to look for it, within you. Inside. The only control that you have with you is inside your head. So to dominate is to dominate your mind. And act without thinking numerous ways. Just fucking do it. Then criticize. Reconsider your action. Again ACT. Like management skill. And it's funny because, I'm a business student, I've known this trick since high school but never have I thought of applying it to the mess I had been living. I mean seriously, the things you search all along, thinking that it's out there, ...

YAY. Things are getting better. :)

You are more than your body. So much. So much more than your skin you are.  here's a backstory.  When I was in my old school there was this girl in our class. She was an orphan. I can't remember her name, just the face.I would describe her as- slumdog. Sorry. I used to avoid being around her as much as possible until one day, we were assigned a group task by my Bengali teacher. I wanted to pack my bags and leave far far away rather just do the task with her . But oh well I was the team captain. Now let me be honest, I skipped the whole thing. I gave her and few members of our team do the work and I told them I would give the final touch to the short essay we were about to present to the whole class and our teacher later that week.  But what happened then, the day we were about to finish our work, my grandma died. And so I have to bail on them, skip school. When I came back to school it was the presentation day, so I apologized to them saying I had no lame excuse;...

Today went unexpectedly well. It could've been better tho. I mean. Yeah sure it was unexpected and sudden plan but I still expected it to go swiftly. It almost. Then I was tired. And for some reason I felt like I was plotted to do something I didn't. Here's the thing you need to understand about me. I don't get twisted circumstances, unless I am spoken directly. SO you have to tell me exactly what you want or I won't get it at first. I will get home and then get what you said. It's not that I am slow(I'm kinda slow) it's just that- I'm an after critic. I have an absence of wit and currency. I have the presence of it when I am alone in my room, replaying all the moments spent, feeling like the silliest girl on earth. And I am so not worth it. I am not an infant. I did what I thought was right at that moment, I didn't think that I would be misjudged. Look at that- HOW complicated I sound when I'm home? It's where I over-think stuffs. T...

I feel like shit when I find it hard to fall asleep and when I fight against sleep. Trust me, I could write a fucking novel on my deprivation of sleep and over-doing it for ages now. Nobody knows my pain. I don't even have a clue when I am awake. I can't concentrate, I can't eat, I can't think properly. And when I am asleep, I'm a pig. My life is a chaos. I have no rules. No rituals. I do kinda have a ritual tho-I write things. I keep all the memories as an aid for the future. I keep feeding myself with thoughts. Never have I followed one good ritual that could benefit my health. Never did I think of an aid to remember all the important information the textbooks have to offer...The fear of suffering and failure have already conquered my mind and there's no room for happy thoughts. I just hate to be in this position but every time I find myself in it.  If only I had learnt how to sleep like normal healthy person. My life would not be this miserable. I fe...

By failing to prepare , you are preparing to fail ." - Benjamin Franklin These days.  I'm all about preparation. For the big SCARY day. And it almost, ALMOST makes me study. I mean, only if anyone knew what prep talk I give myself at the end of the day or when my car is stuck in traffic jam. I would be like-  What dress should I wear at the admission test- hmm something comfortable. And something I wore in a happy occasion in the past. To favor the luck. I don't think putting down my hair that day would be a good idea. I should do a ponytail. Not very tight tho that could give me a headache. Revising- Uh I wonder when is the right time to revise. On the car to way up there? No. It could be unnerving. Oh hey. I could make flashcards. Eating and Sleeping- I wonder about the night before. Would I be able to sleep? I don't think so. But if I settle down for some physical work for the day before, I could make myself fall asleep the night. But my body confuses m...