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Is there anything more painful than one-sided love?
I've been dealing with this pain since I was in high-school, and I'm feeling numb as the days go by.I mean seriously? How many times do I have to fall for some one that doesn't feel the same, or doesn't even know the true part of me or doesn't even know that I exist?
My current "one-sided love" is quite embarrassing.I had no intention to write about it in my blog,but you have to believe me, I can't hold it long enough. And I don't think anyone reads this blog so why not?
I don't know how on earth I fall for this guy because I have fallen for celebrities and football players most of the time, let alone strangers. I rather call it a crush cause it's nothing serious,just bothering me quite a few days.So here it goes. I'm crushing on someone I'm not supposed to.He's a senior and even married.He is someone I know outside of the family circle.So yeah, not illegal but still, icky! He's married! And like double my age! How could I...(Sigh)
I don't know maybe I crushed on him because he's a true gentlemen and makes me laugh every time I meet him.He's got a humor, and a tenderness that I can't reject.
I blame him for this incident, why is he so damn nice to me?
I'm not usually attracted to good people, cause they bore me, but this time I got carried away and I regret that.Because it's not gonna happen.The love I'm looking for, it'll be just a fantasy.
I can't even tell how he feels about me.I mean definitely he loves his wife and is a loyal husband which makes him even more attractive.When I talk to him I feel someone understanding the inner me.I feel like he appreciates me in my most imperfect ways.
I want to hate him because I know I can't have him and in few years he's gonna be out of my life.That sucks.Everyday I feel an urge to talk to him.One day he'll be gone,living his life,having babies and all,
why does it have to be that way? :-(
Why am I making such a fuss about it? I've never been loved by someone I cherish. I've always been left out unnoticed, and It shouldn't be something to blog about.But I just can't help it.
If only he wasn't married to someone.If only he could know me better.If only I meant something to him, this did not have to be a one sided love/crush.

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