confession #87

Very emotional week. And also exhaustive. I still have my last night make up left over my face. And I am yawning repeatedly per hour.Oh by the way I am typing from my sister's brand new laptop. She's got it from Mama (maternal uncle). My brother was given an android tablet.And I on the other hand was given a make up box and a perfume, which smelled like peaches. It's not that I don't like my gift,It's just that I was given something I have a very small interest in. Eye shadows, never succeeded putting it on all by myself. I attempted once though, watching youtube tutorials and by the time I was finished my eyes looked like someone just punched me in the face. But I have an amounted knowledge with technologies so I wasn't really pleased getting a make up box.I don't blame Mama, for he doesn't know me, he thinks I am one of those girls who are crazy over makeups and stuffs. It's my fault. I should have been more frank and get him to know me better.Okay now the confession part- Don't get all judgmental on me, but I actually cried getting that makeup box and that perfume.Well not in front him obviously, but at the back of our veranda alone and in dark. I actually cried for that device he handed to my brother and not me.Can you believe that?At that time my sister was busy in packing things and preparing for her holud day and instead of shedding tears for her soon-to-be leaving I shed tears for some stupid electronic device.Then again, cut me some slack, I was on my period therefore, sentimental.

And I woke up to a havoc this morning.My dad accidentally opened the door and some hizras got in. I was still in my bed wrapped in the quilt, scared by the sudden chaotic situation. Luckily they didn't enter my room. They were in the dining area by the door and I could hear them constantly clapping their hands.They were so stubborn they just wouldn't go without the money. But later my dad somehow managed to get them out our floor. Then they were in the basement again shouting as fuck, and chachu, when all attempts failed to get them out our building, gave them a bunch of 500 bucks.And they were out. Happily. 

Yesterday was Api's holud. It's been a weird day for me because it had so much in it. Let's see. In the morning I had to leave for my college for registration.I didn't even had a full night's sleep the previous night. SO that explains how tired my face looked.When arrived to class I realized I forgot my glasses at home, explains how blur every thing looked in my eyes. SO I had to sign an important paper like that and in front of my McDreamy. Stressing moment. But somehow I managed to see through every thing that was written on it and signed as I was supposed to.At that time Mcdreamy was busy talking to a teacher and I had to sign without waiting for his approval. And I signed it in two lines,which he afterwards scolded me for.He scolded me for the very first time.And he told me to go.And I took off.Depressing. But I don't know I didn't get hurt much, Maybe I am starting to forget him.That's good. Less feelings less pain.

By the time I was home,every one was having breakfast, talking and planning for the ceremony. I just hurriedly ate up a plate of chicken biriyani that my mom cooked me and went to my fuppi's apartment right next to ours.Fariha, Anika and moon apu all were quietly and peacefully sleeping under the quilt. I woke them up for our dance rehearsal, wasn't much time left till the program,Then they had breakfast, Mysha and I, we had a briefing of the dance routine and fahim bhaiya watched us and cheered.And after a moment Fariha and Anika joined in and we practiced to give it a perfect touch.We added some new moves over a new song because fahim bhaiya said so.-_- But we had it covered.

Nothing happened as we planned yesterday. And it gave me a clearer perspective of how crazy we all are in the family. We had big time trouble getting to parlor and to the program. But thanks to bhaiya he managed us and booked us seats in the parlor.We told him how thankful we all were having him by our side and He was like "What? You guys need me shopping for your sarees too? You should be ashamed of yourselves." Fuppi and everyone got so hyper, we almost thought we'd miss the holud. We stuck in the traffic for hours. So we did a little practice for the dance in the car. Mysha is so funny she said.."Attodin ki shukher sopno dekhchilam jey apir holude parlor ey sundr kore sajbo!"

It was late but at least we made it, I thought we'd never arrive. And also everyone liked our dance performance. They were all very amazed. All credit goes to moon apu and youtube for the moves.We did great.I was kind of hazy and shy but it wasn't much noticeable. And now I know it was far more fun rehearsing it than to actually perform.

And there was slide show of me and my sister's baby pictures shown in the projector which made me cry, made us all cry.I don't know if it was the pictures or the background music, or that api is leaving us in two days It made me all emotional. I was craving for a shoulder to cry on. And I couldn't help myself when my ammu took me by her arm and resting my head on her shoulder, there I sobbed. And I had a slight feeling that camera man recorded it.-_- ugh. Always getting their camera ready for drama.Anyway after messing my eyeliner I look up the stage and there she was.My beloved sister, whom I cried my heart out for, was smiling beside her husband, posing to the cameras.

I don't have any idea what I'd do tomorrow at her farewell. There'd be no slideshow or background music but there'd be my api, leaving me, us. This house. I don't know how I'd handle myself seeing api getting on that car with her husband and with a complete new family.I just don't how I'd pass this night knowing that it would be the last night with her being just my sister not someone's wife or daughter-in-law. This sucks. I should be happy for her.