Everly

I started this blog on June,2013. Today while glancing through the previous posts it just occurred to me to give those things a flash back. A philosopher I was. And an optimist. Actually, reading those few posts made me realize how I've changed and grown since.SO I think it's worth a new post on 31st December and in the last hour of 2014. " Every time it's like i'm changing bit by bit, knowing myself differently, and it's surprising how one person may not know what they're capable of, until they finally go ahead,feel it. " ... It's not that i'm completely relying on luck and whatsoever, but sometimes i guess mistakes can be really sweet and beneficial. i mean you'll never know, what is really going out there. you'll never know if you're assure of what you really want.In crisis, you may feel what you don't have. Again, being surrounded by all the craved thingies you wanted in your life, you may feel something is really mis...

The woman who works here had sort of an emotional breakdown today.Her husband threatened to leave her and she panicked.Oh my god, if you could see the scene! She thumped her head on the door, repeatedly, crying, sobbing ugh and what not. SO much drama. And It didn't just end there. A moment later, when I was sitting on my table, studying, she came to me and stuttered some thing in her native language.I didn't get any of it so I just nodded in response.Piece of advice- "Don't ever nod not knowing what you've been asked for." Okay, then a shocking and awkward thing happened, she just hugged me out of the blue.And there's more. She sobbed onto my shoulder. Not just sobbed, took long-deep breathes. So that's what she asked me before... eww. I got super awkward. I sighed a big relief when she got off my neck,wetting my hair with her tears,nose-water(EWWWW!) and changed into a fresh sweater, washed off my face, cleaned my hands with hand-wash.  And tomorrow...

I've got a bunch of complains today. And it all relates to not having a room of my own. I am sick and tired of compromising, sabotaging plans and of everyone for thinking I am a selfish bitch. I need a god damn space in the house. I am getting totally detached from studies because I can't concentrate by the situation I've been fallen under. And this is no excuse. I get easily distracted. At this point, I'd wholeheartedly support the American kids with the "Mom,Dad just give me some space." dialogue.But let's face it, we are Bangalis, if I tell my parents to back off, they'd be like- "You're my daughter.There can't be any space between us." I thought when my sister would leave I'd get plenty of space and use it for good. Now look at me, I am pacing back and forth, to my brother's room to the living room the night before exam and Nanu alone, is pretty comforted with the room, I and api used to share. I seriously can't tak...

Facts about me. I have a habit of skipping breakfast for sleep. I can sleep 18 hours at a stretch.  How I skip working: for example, when my father asks me to fetch something or do some work I just play dumb. I pretend I didn't hear/understand any of the things he just asked me to do. Working hard or hardly working? Hardly working. Bed is my favorite place to be. Not highly optimistic. I believe sometimes it is practical to think-bad things can happen. I love tea.Desserts.Hugs.Listening music with my headphones in the car and singing alone.I love drama. I hate fish and veggies.Or anything that my mom thinks is nutritious.I like spicy food. I can't stand crowd.Noisy eaters. Back-stabbers. Bullying.Bad eyebrows, control-freaks. I like my privacy.  I get delighted by hand-written letters.  I'm a gadget freak. I'm not religious, I'm spiritual, I believe in Karma. I like guys older my age.Explains why I am always crushing on seniors. A great sense of hum...

I organized my closet today. I actually did! *a round of applause* And I stepped outside the house and after like ages, I took a walk along the road in winter breeze and morning sun. My knees were literally shaking, it's getting that cold. Anyways, so I attended an exam at that hour,a practice test for HSC. And met McDreamy there. Nowadays, I've been feeling numb about him. Sometimes I even get into laughing,thinking that how silly I was to be fallen for him...He's in no way looks astonishing, charming or anything attractive. He just looks like my subject teacher and now that I'm leaving college I won't be seeing him again. Fortunately enough I have forgotten all the feelings he used to cause. Time for a change baby.Let's not call him McDreamy anymore. I have realized my foolishness. So my sister is off to her honeymoon to cox's bazaar. She cried on the phone today.I switched her to Ammu because I was too busy stuffing clothes to my closet.Selfish sister?...

This is it. My sister has officially gone to her in-law's. We're gonna grow apart. But seeing her smiling today, I was relieved. Relieved that she's doing way better than I thought she would.And at this point I just want her to be happy and healthy. No I didn't cry today like I did all these days. Tell you what, It's been a nightmare without her. Everything in the house reminded me of her.I haven't gone out since her farewell so it's been really hard on me. We don't do calls or skype. Everyone there was like "You can call her when you miss her." But this is not the relationship we had. We're sisters, we talked face to face, we cuddled in our sleep, we laughed mindlessly,shared secrets,sometimes we fought over serious issues and bonded over silly stuffs. That's how we always were.That's how we communicated and always will. My life at this point is kind of like it's been through a storm and now it's recovering. And the mo...

Very emotional week. And also exhaustive. I still have my last night make up left over my face. And I am yawning repeatedly per hour.Oh by the way I am typing from my sister's brand new laptop. She's got it from Mama (maternal uncle). My brother was given an android tablet.And I on the other hand was given a make up box and a perfume, which smelled like peaches. It's not that I don't like my gift,It's just that I was given something I have a very small interest in. Eye shadows, never succeeded putting it on all by myself. I attempted once though, watching youtube tutorials and by the time I was finished my eyes looked like someone just punched me in the face. But I have an amounted knowledge with technologies so I wasn't really pleased getting a make up box.I don't blame Mama, for he doesn't know me, he thinks I am one of those girls who are crazy over makeups and stuffs. It's my fault. I should have been more frank and get him to know me better.Oka...

This year is a very significant one for me. Because it had been different. It broke me in a way and built me in another. I'd been torn apart then again stitched up. It has been a different kind of year for me because when I look back at it, it takes me by surprise how I've changed and grown since.What I knew and what I know now. This year made me laugh and cry both at the same time and I started loving myself, my own existence like never before.I turned 18.I got into the hobby of keeping journals.Lived good moments with family and friends.Got into reading English cheesy love novels and enriched my vocabulary.Learned to let go of the things I love.And in this exact same year, I would learn how to live without the person who's considered my half self.My sister.You see, it's been a year full of changes and happenings that I never imagined would come up so fast. It gave me a clearer view of the reality and everything that I was once mindless to.If I were to say which of th...

Yesterday I was super inspired. Today, I overslept, depressed about my acne spots and I am on my period. Piece of advice- When you're feeling inspired, take an action.You know, write, blog, do something productive. Because that feeling won't stay long. Tomorrow is Rag Day of our college.I think it's gonna be boring.*blows a raspberry* I know this is the time I should build up myself for the board exam and admissions but I NEED A ROOM. Give me a room and I'll study and kick those test's ass. Seriously, when's nanu leaving? How many months or years she's planning to stay? I am a teenager, I need my own space for heaven's sake why doesn't she get it? I am not a eves-dropper but today I kind of overheard her conversation while she was on the phone with khalamoni, I was half in my sleep so didn't hear that clear.But seemed like she's staying here for more. I can't, believe me, every single day I would pray to god for her to leave. She...

I had a lot to confess today but my brother is so pissed off he wouldn't let me hamper his sleep with the pc light. He has an early morning school field trip thing. So long story short. I have officially passed all the subjects on test. Today however I got inspired by many people. McDreamy didn't look so charming today. But I miss him. Found out a very embarrassing thing about my sister.EEK. I guess this is it.  

I hate cheesy couple talks. Isn't it obvious? They go like: I was feeling a little off today, but you definitely turned me on. My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in. Did you fart, cause you blew me away. I love you like a pig loves not being bacon. if I had to choose between breathing or loving you, I would say "I love you" with my last breath! You make me melt like hot fudge on a sundae. I want to be your tear drop, so I could be born in your eyes, live on your cheeks, and die on your lips. Babe! you look so fine I could drink your bath water! You're hotter than donut grease. Your eyes are as blue as window cleaner. Was that an earthquake or did you just rock my world? You look beautiful today, just like every other day.

My sister lost her cell-phone and she's really upset about it. She might have been crying at the restroom as it is what I am sensing at this moment. She got this phone nearly a month ago and it was the most costly phone than anyone owned in our family. Poor Api! I am feeling really bad for her. She used to be so excited about her new phone and would click out random selfies and be obsessed with it. And the thing that is more hurtful, it was gifted by Abbu and she lost it. SO she can't get any more upset. I partly know how she feels given the fact that I once lost my apple ipod shuffle at school. It was blue and it had my first name sealed on it. It used to be one of my must-have things whenever I'd gone out. I just hope api gets over it, we no longer can bear seeing her be so upset like that. So Fariha came yesterday and we had a girl's night out. It was fun. We happened to tell each-other the topmost secrets going on with our lives. That's what girls are made of...

get rid of acne spots complete reading Fifty Shades trilogy Redecorate my room(looking forward to it) dance rehearsals and select songs for Api's holud, shopping for sister's wedding collect super cute pictures. I am gonna make my own photo album/scrapbook. buy Pride & Prejudice novel from new-market. buy novels that I pinned out on pinterest. love myself a little more take a good care of my hair. I want it to grow fast. gotta take Herbal treatments. spend some quality time with my sister.Well... download a whole bunch of movies and new series. Nap. Nap a good amount. watch tutorials on Youtube about doodling find a spot to hang some funny e-cards-hand made and doodles. Found it. The back of my door. have loads of fun at my sister's wedding.  buy some cute t-shirts for home. change something about myself. Something that should be changed.Umm...sleeping a lot-can't do, eating unhealthy foods-nah...staying up late- umm..OKAY Fine. Namaz five times ...

Guess what? Exams are over! :)) My life is back on track. Now let me take care of the bucket list. Actually it's more of a to-do list.But I hate the sound of it.It brings out a boring vibe.So I decided to be it my bucket list for now.The thought is entertaining, no? Okay so, the very first thing that I am gonna do is redecorate my room after my sister leaves the house. Okay. Before you give me the "You're selfish" look let me get this straight. I am definitely going to miss her.But I have accepted the fact that it's a part of growing up. And let's be honest, she's getting her fare share, a room AND a Husband. But hey,I just want her to be happy. No jealousy included.SO redecorating my room is a Big-Plan. And I'd start working on it after nanu leaves for America.And after things get normal up here when api leaves for her in-law's. Because if I tell my mom about this plan right away, she's gonna beat the ass out of me. Ammu's been so...

good news! I survived those three tests I've been worrying about.Well better if I say, two and a half test. Sir didn't hand out the MCQ sheets yet, which I'd (hopefully) pass anyway. And even better news: my exams are going to end the day after tomorrow.Can you believe that? Then I'd be shopping for my sister's wedding. Yay. Everything's finally falling back together. I had just finished watching the last season of Good Luck Charlie. God I loved the series. Charlie's so cute! I gotta say, their show's been a great support through the survival of my finals. A great mental support and my recreation. Not only this show, I had also finished watching Masterchef Us season 6 on youtube during Accounting exam; now on which I've got a clear cut D. Actually, I am happy with my grades as long as I don't fail. Oh by the way, have I told you about my hidden talent? I am a doodler.Yep.I'd upload some of my doodling but I don't have the pics w...

Confession#78 I am sick and tired of exams. It's almost been a month. And there's still three exams left.At this point I just wanna run away, get lost in some place, enjoy the cool weather or you know, I could jump off a cliff. Both would be delightful. I mean seriously, I could do far better than studying for this stupid exams. My sister's wedding plannings have stolen my sleep. Sleepless nights. Can it get any more depressing? I am utterly distracted by the after exam plans and wedding and what not.Tell you what,this weather is not applicable for studying.It is for taking naps and watching late night movies,wrapping in warm blankets while sipping hot tea.I blame the education system,they are driving us nuts. It's December already. My most-awaited-favorite month of the year. I don't want it to be spent like this. If I get any F mark on any subjects there are gonna be retests and If that literally happens, I am gonna bury myself to death. This is no way ho...