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anxiety attack

 Hi B,

I've been really anxious lately. I am not sure why I feel so mentally drained. Even after sleep, I feel exhausted...I had been overworking and not eating right. 

Last weekend I was getting high on weed with two of my friends and something really horrifying happened. I was having a bad trip. I went into a panic attack. 

Last night me and my husband had a ugly fight over moving into a new place ( I want to move and he wants me to focus on my career instead, which threw me off a little) and then I went into this repetitive mind racing thoughts and started weeping, I had a hard time breathing and eventually he calm me down.

I've had hard times before but this two episodes kind of shook me. I thought my anxiety has been manageable before but after this I feel like it can be bigger than my control and maybe I need help?

My husband gave me a number to contact for some free therapy sessions. I haven't gotten into it yet but I've thinking to get some help. 

When distress happen, I come back to writing to piece myself together. 

So I think I will be writing to you from now on. 

Life's so exhausting here b. I have a hard time keeping up. I don't feel like sitting with myself and writing anymore. However, I think, it is much needed now. 

I know I will be okay. I just need to take a breath and be present. 

I saw a reel on instagram the other day, which kind of made sense to me. 

We try so hard to constantly do something all the time and it has become so hard for us to survive our own lives. We are allowed some rest. Take a little breather. 

It's okay. 

I shouldn't let life slip through my hands while I get busy with mindless tasks at work. It's important to create a little space for the mind to rest. 

I will talk about more on why I got into a huge fight with my husband. What really prompted it. 

I will share one post at a time. 

For now, that's all I feel like sharing.


Thank you b, for always being here so I can tell you stuff. 


Appreciate you!


 

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