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Friends become strangers. It is only just a matter of time. 

I know solitude is not the answer to surviving in this cruel world but I am choosing it because it is better to be alone than be with toxic people. 

My friendships have become sort of superficial now. I realized there are cracks in my relationships with those people. I just needed time and situations to be exposed to that. It is okay. I still wish them my best. I just think we have outgrown each other. 

Sometimes I wish I had less empathy and be more practical. If I were, I would not have to foresee this. Do I think I am too old to make new friends now? Of course not. The possibilities are endless. I am just still mourning my old friendships. Life has been hard. I just hit an epiphany that the people I held close to my heart do not have the slightest interest in their heart for me. I was just their background noise. 

I got caught up in other people's love affair and it has been ugly. I could not play along anymore because in the midst of it all I craved my sanity. 

It is not my job to be someone's mental support to the point where they vacay the last bit of energy left in me. It is simply not my job to pointlessly argue about change to someone when they are so much resistant to it. I am done and dusted. 

I know it may sound cruel. It may sound as if I am being selfish. Humans are made that way. I have done so many stupid things this past few months for someone I thought I was helping, only now that I realize how pointless it was. 

I choose myself now. I choose to improve myself and not waste a single moment in trying help those who just wanted a distraction from me. My time and energy is valuable. I have decided that I will choose to be around people who are worthy of that. So far, I have people in my life who are worthy of it. I just need to extract 2 people out of that list. I have gone through grief and cried without knowing I was crying for them. See, it is not a rapid decision. I have emptied myself all the emotions I used to feel for them and it has not been an easy process. 

I think it is time I need to be careful about choosing people I surround myself with. This is a part of me growing up and growing bitter about people. 

It is okay. I am at this point in my life where I don't get touched too much. I need to respect my boundaries.


It is time.








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