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Day 85 
Today is my cheat day. I took a day off from my typical day. And finished a movie. I have been able to put myself into a routine. I read pages of a book every day, I do morning yoga, I take classes online. I go to bed early and wake up early. I cooked chicken curry today. This was my first cooked meal. Everybody loved it. I felt joy watching my parents being giddy about me. My mom said, I don’t have to worry about you anymore.
Did I cure myself of depression and sadness? Well, it is a deep rooted problem, but I do feel lighter these days. I accept the sadness, I accept the uncertainty of future, I accept  that things are going to be difficult. And I roll with it. Whenever the black cloud hovers over my head, I look in the mirror, sometimes shed a tear or two and then I pick myself up. Ultimately, I have to be my own person. I have to be my own care-taker. It feels great sometimes, to be in control of my own life. I have learned to wash my clothes every day. It is a basic skill but it makes me feel good. My mother cut my father’s hair today. This pandemic had done one thing right. It brought us close together.
Sure, I feel lonely. But you know what? There’s a time for everything. I am not going to be lonely forever. I’ll have someone by my side someday. I don’t know when, but till then, I have to date myself. Be with myself, be in love with myself. I have me now. I don’t have to look around. Love will find me here.

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