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Just when I thought, I am gonna completely focus on myself rather than anything, I am awestruck by him again and I know this is only gonna get worse...I am getting more and more invested in his life. This isn't right. This is threatening...I don't know what to do at this point.

The problem is. I intentionally look and then overlook his flaws. The mental list that I subconsciously create in my mind, been unchecked many qualities he has in possession. And that should be enough for me to quit the obsession I have with him, But you know what is the main issue here? I am not seeing other guys in the same way I see him...I see him like he is some kind of god. Of music. Or something so extra-ordinary that just made a place in my heart that I cannot replace with other guy. It is impossible. ALMOST. I mean. Not yet have I found any other guy I can be attracted to both mentally and physically and enjoy his company and miss him during his absence.

Okay deep stuff. I know, I wasn't thinking about writing today but then what the hell. I have a quiz tomorrow. And I haven't got a full night's sleep, I just....UGH. Why every semester I work the opposite direction I want to work? It sucks to be me.

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