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I am way over my head here...How did I fall back again? UGH. I should have some self-control, I am serious. This ain't going anywhere.
But that smile oh gosh. I missed him. He shouldn't have this pretty smile. I wish his teeth were yellow, and had the worst smile in this planet. But no. He has to have a smile that melts my heart every time I see it. I hate myself right now. I totally do. It is not like I am in control of myself. You can't control these things, can you?
Oh Allah. Please save me from this. Please don't make me fall right back in. It was so hard. I can't go through this again. No.

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