I think all women are hormonal, flaky and delusional. Some are just good at hiding it. And certainly I don't belong to that group of some. The problem isn't that I am a WOMAN and I can't handle my emotions and sometimes make a mess of tears and think about stupid things and then laugh at my own stupidity. The problem is that- sometimes, I just can't process things, logically. It is not just the fault of my gender. It is my immaturity. And okay, yeah, partially, I blame those female hormones. We are both equally responsible for the mess.
You see, I have to grow some balls and MAN UP. Okay that sounded way too literal. All I mean is, I have to think more logically from now on. Shush all those illogical, motherly, womanly thoughts that stay inside my head without a rent. I should save them for later. When I will have someone to share all that crap. Right now, I have to take care myself, tackle life in the practical way. I have to think more logically....YES. That's the answer to my misery.
Singer Guy isn't sexually attracted to me, he probably sees me as his younger sister, or even as a child because I act childish around him. So there's no hope of us working out. And right now, he is trying to move on from post breakup, and his ex got a date, so there's too much on his plate right now. There is no chance of me crossing his mind even for a fraction of a second...Well that didn't hurt. I had been thinking about him a lot...Last night, while watching HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER, there's this episode where Marshall goes to Barney's office for the first time, and the screen shows his motivational posters on his office wall, and there were these posters of penguins. Now you must be wondering, what's that got to do with Singer Guy and Me. Well, he called me penguin once and I got mad and I asked him the next day why he called me a penguin, I hate the species. Penguins are super weird and he was shocked and said, he meant it as a compliment because he thought penguins are cute...I laughed my heart out last night, thinking back to this.... .... I am sorry... Okay I am being delusional again. Let's turn it off. Yeah...ishdjsnfdjjjfjsdf....Refresh.
Yes, so moving on to the next point. He likes Makeup Girl. Makeup Girl is hot. She's got nice features. She is mature, she's got more hair than me, she's basically got all the things that guys look for in a woman. She even does a job. She is good in her academics. She flirts effortlessly, she is almost never awkward, Even I like her ass. Her boobs are amazing. And she is also kind. And got a good humor. She is smart and rich. Oh my god, did I actually write a whole paragraph about Makeup Girl? I am high on tea today.
Anyway, my point is, She is everything that I am no near to ever accomplishing now. Unless I get implants. And I am broke so there's that. Singer Guy may like her. I understand what is his taste in women is like. Ironically so, I am a completely different cuisine. If she is Italian I am like...Balinese or something. (I don't know if this analogy makes any sense, because I haven't tasted Balinese food yet so I am just assuming they are very different from each other. ANYWAYS!)
Okay, let's switch off my insecurity and think like a man again. He has got problems as well. He is not perfect. He has anger issues, I am perfectly healthy on that field. My friends think I can never be mad at someone, they say it is my disability. I say, it is my plus side. He smokes, a lot. He is short. Well I am too. You see the problem here? We don't look good together... Maybe his voice is all I fell for in the first place. Yes. He sings pretty well, and I have a history of crushing on men who's got a sexy voice... And it is completely natural. I have fallen for the concept of his quality, not his physical features. Well he has got a pretty face. But that doesn't cancel out the Height issue. And it is not possible to marry a tone. If it was, then I would've given it a go.
And most importantly, we don't click. When we talk, we're like talking for the sake of talking. Sometimes, I get so blunt, I just stare at him hopelessly until he strikes up a conversation. There were days, we passed with a single hi and a pointless bro fist. You see, there is no spark. No...what say- Chemistry between us. So he is off the chart. The only reason he was in the chart because there are not enough man in my life I can hang out with. So he became the attention. These aren't real emotions/feelings. See what I did there? I made myself a logical theory and now I am gonna stick to it and whenever the thought of him passes my mind, I am gonna break it down and stop being crazy about him the moment I realize it is all just a...DELUSION and nothing else.
Okay now moving on to the next guy. What do I call him here? Umm...Cheese. Yes because he can be really cheesy and flirty without being aware of it. Okay this guy, flirts with every girl he possibly thinks attractive...I don't know maybe it is in his system. He uses the word LOVE YOU way too liberally. Like it used to make me think. But now, since I've started thinking more logically, it doesn't bother me a bit. Before I was like- Am I the only one? Now I am like- He probably tells that to every woman. Even his friends of friends. Whom he's remotely close with. So he is of no harm. I only like his company because he doesn't bully me or says no rude stuff. He is a sweet person. Looks out for me as a FRIEND. And again, there is no romantic feelings attached to it.
I might have given myself a shoulder pat, Well done myself!
It is not that hard is it? Thinking like a man. Driving those emotions out. What I need to do right now is Study. I have mid coming. And I have made a decision. I am not going to hang out much from the next week. It is a promise. An oath. I won't break it. I will go home right after my class and I will study my ass off. I am an adult, and I will handle things my own way now. I am in charge of my actions. I am the head of the department. I am the...captain of the sea, queen of the...(....)
Okay, enough for today.
BYE!
You see, I have to grow some balls and MAN UP. Okay that sounded way too literal. All I mean is, I have to think more logically from now on. Shush all those illogical, motherly, womanly thoughts that stay inside my head without a rent. I should save them for later. When I will have someone to share all that crap. Right now, I have to take care myself, tackle life in the practical way. I have to think more logically....YES. That's the answer to my misery.
Singer Guy isn't sexually attracted to me, he probably sees me as his younger sister, or even as a child because I act childish around him. So there's no hope of us working out. And right now, he is trying to move on from post breakup, and his ex got a date, so there's too much on his plate right now. There is no chance of me crossing his mind even for a fraction of a second...Well that didn't hurt. I had been thinking about him a lot...Last night, while watching HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER, there's this episode where Marshall goes to Barney's office for the first time, and the screen shows his motivational posters on his office wall, and there were these posters of penguins. Now you must be wondering, what's that got to do with Singer Guy and Me. Well, he called me penguin once and I got mad and I asked him the next day why he called me a penguin, I hate the species. Penguins are super weird and he was shocked and said, he meant it as a compliment because he thought penguins are cute...I laughed my heart out last night, thinking back to this.... .... I am sorry... Okay I am being delusional again. Let's turn it off. Yeah...ishdjsnfdjjjfjsdf....Refresh.
Yes, so moving on to the next point. He likes Makeup Girl. Makeup Girl is hot. She's got nice features. She is mature, she's got more hair than me, she's basically got all the things that guys look for in a woman. She even does a job. She is good in her academics. She flirts effortlessly, she is almost never awkward, Even I like her ass. Her boobs are amazing. And she is also kind. And got a good humor. She is smart and rich. Oh my god, did I actually write a whole paragraph about Makeup Girl? I am high on tea today.
Anyway, my point is, She is everything that I am no near to ever accomplishing now. Unless I get implants. And I am broke so there's that. Singer Guy may like her. I understand what is his taste in women is like. Ironically so, I am a completely different cuisine. If she is Italian I am like...Balinese or something. (I don't know if this analogy makes any sense, because I haven't tasted Balinese food yet so I am just assuming they are very different from each other. ANYWAYS!)
Okay, let's switch off my insecurity and think like a man again. He has got problems as well. He is not perfect. He has anger issues, I am perfectly healthy on that field. My friends think I can never be mad at someone, they say it is my disability. I say, it is my plus side. He smokes, a lot. He is short. Well I am too. You see the problem here? We don't look good together... Maybe his voice is all I fell for in the first place. Yes. He sings pretty well, and I have a history of crushing on men who's got a sexy voice... And it is completely natural. I have fallen for the concept of his quality, not his physical features. Well he has got a pretty face. But that doesn't cancel out the Height issue. And it is not possible to marry a tone. If it was, then I would've given it a go.
And most importantly, we don't click. When we talk, we're like talking for the sake of talking. Sometimes, I get so blunt, I just stare at him hopelessly until he strikes up a conversation. There were days, we passed with a single hi and a pointless bro fist. You see, there is no spark. No...what say- Chemistry between us. So he is off the chart. The only reason he was in the chart because there are not enough man in my life I can hang out with. So he became the attention. These aren't real emotions/feelings. See what I did there? I made myself a logical theory and now I am gonna stick to it and whenever the thought of him passes my mind, I am gonna break it down and stop being crazy about him the moment I realize it is all just a...DELUSION and nothing else.
Okay now moving on to the next guy. What do I call him here? Umm...Cheese. Yes because he can be really cheesy and flirty without being aware of it. Okay this guy, flirts with every girl he possibly thinks attractive...I don't know maybe it is in his system. He uses the word LOVE YOU way too liberally. Like it used to make me think. But now, since I've started thinking more logically, it doesn't bother me a bit. Before I was like- Am I the only one? Now I am like- He probably tells that to every woman. Even his friends of friends. Whom he's remotely close with. So he is of no harm. I only like his company because he doesn't bully me or says no rude stuff. He is a sweet person. Looks out for me as a FRIEND. And again, there is no romantic feelings attached to it.
I might have given myself a shoulder pat, Well done myself!
It is not that hard is it? Thinking like a man. Driving those emotions out. What I need to do right now is Study. I have mid coming. And I have made a decision. I am not going to hang out much from the next week. It is a promise. An oath. I won't break it. I will go home right after my class and I will study my ass off. I am an adult, and I will handle things my own way now. I am in charge of my actions. I am the head of the department. I am the...captain of the sea, queen of the...(....)
Okay, enough for today.
BYE!
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