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No matter how much I want to suppress this feeling, it comes out and pains me. I can say, I moved on and everything but there's still a part of me which holds on to him. Which wants to make an impression on him. I know there are far better things I can do with my life and he should not be my prime focus right now, I know all the logic but why still, I can't get over the fact that he doesn't want me? Why can't I just accept it and fucking move on?

Maybe because it is valentines day and I have been single my whole life that I want some action. I wish I could say it without sounding desperate. I don't love him, there's not a thing in him I absolutely adore, to be frank, he sometimes pisses me off. His attitude and everything about him just piss me off. Yet I seek his validation from time to time. If he doesn't like my photo on social media, I convince myself it's not a good photo which is unconventionally untrue. I look great but still I would have this empty feeling about myself which I absolutely hate. I hate everything he does to me. He is a dork.

Why do I have this weird obsession with him? He is no Tom Cruise. He is slightly above average...Why do feel nervous when he is around? Honestly, he doesn't deserve any of this attention. He is a stupid guy chasing the wrong girl and I wish I could stop him....
I am not jealous I am just.......PISSED. UGH.








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