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My first morning being awake. Well I didn't sleep last night so I have been awake for a long while today.
Taking refuge in bed. I have 8 hours of Breaking Bad left. Then I will be done with the series. Last time I remember getting so attached with a show like this was Dexter. I couldn't separate my emotions from the characters in the story. Well, this time I am more wooed than emotional. Umm, then again Jesse Pinkman. He is the only character giving me all the feels throughout the insanity that is and has been going on in the show. This series is mentally stimulating. I know very little about chemistry, but I truly enjoyed myself while watching this. Guess this was a worthwhile decision to invest my time on this. 2018 wasn't full of foul decisions. 

I am holding on. And trying to forgive myself for everything that's happened past few months. I am not harming myself anymore. The scars in my wrists are almost faded. I haven't touched a blade since I don't remember. I guess it's been a couple of months since I last tried. 

I still feel it somewhere beneath the surface. It will explode sooner or later. But right now, my eyes are pretty dry. I guess I am on remission right now. You know. Not everybody has it easy. Not everybody handles life the same. Not everybody is gonna have to excel in things. I should spend my time less on watching other people's successes and counting their blessings and more time on being just where I am. Maybe I am bipolar or maybe it is just a phase. I hope it just go away. The feeling that makes me feel so insignificant. And small. I hope it quits. I hope it dies. I'd bury it myself. 











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