Skip to main content

Patience can be so much bitter!

I got this feeling, you know, after watching Nicholas Sparks movies, it's like, "Omg I'm gonna die alone!" 



 So today, I watched "Dear John". Incredible. SO Romantic! Just loved the movie.
I'm so freaking crushed on Channing Tatum,he's amazing! Made me depressed as well. Because girls like me ain't getting any guys like that, even in a lifetime. He's so freaking hot! God! why i always fall for celebs. They'll never be mine :( Oh i need a shoulder to cry on. Wish i could just cry on Tatum's sexy neck ;( Ahh like that's gonna happen ! :'(

You know what! Waiting for your love of life-- that thing sucks! It's so hard, so unpredictable. I'm seventeen, girls on my age --uh i shouldn't say it all. but hey sometimes, i feel so insecure and depressed about being myself. I mean when i see those pretty girls, they get what they want, and they are always rewarded even when they screw up...sometimes i just can't figure out my flaws.i mean i don't get along because i just be myself, and is always simple.that i will never change. But it just hurts, when i don't get what i deserve. I'd like to be treated like a princess. But hey! this is me!no one even notice me, like i'm invisible. What can i possibly do if i'm unpopular. i just crawl into Depressions by thinking all these stuffs at night. 

Sometimes, i feel like i should change. Change what should be changed. But it's the hard part. I'm so damn chained by my habits. I can't just change in one day. Ugh don't freaking know why i'm getting all these strange feelings. Teen age sucks man!
  
Actually this romanticism...is not kinda my thing. It's good to watch in movies, it makes me crummy, emotional, and whatever. but in real life, it sucks. True love? i didn't even feel what love actually is with someone special...true love is so far from me. And about attractions-ugh mostly on celebs. I wish i could just wake one morning and find myself as Tatum's wife, wow i would also get a daughter for free. That'd be awesome! oh okay i'm dreaming again! I wish Nicholas Sparks could write my love story and could get me a hot guy like Tatum! 

I don't want to stop dreaming. I feel like i should stop, but the reality kinda scares me, so. (sigh) Just waiting for ugh... i shouldn't. you know what? after watching Hollywood and all those hot celebs out there, my expectations, they got so higher that i don't feel any attractions among other people around me...this is bad right?! i should be on my limit. I just have to admit what i really am. I hope there is someone out there for me. Let's see. Surprise me God!  

 “There is never a time or place for true love. 

 It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a 

 single flashing, throbbing moment.” 


― Sarah Dessen, The Truth About Forever 

 (gosh! something's wrong.I should probably stop watching romantic movies.yeah that'll do:P)

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

"Because nothing makes me happier and nothing makes me sadder than you.”

“If I had a camera," I said, "I'd take a picture of you every day. That way I'd remember how you looked every single day of your life." "I look exactly the same." "No, you don't. You're changing all the time. Every day a tiny bit. If I could, I'd keep a record of it all." "If you're so smart, how did I change today?" "You got a fraction of a millimeter taller, for one thing. Your hair grew a fraction of a millimeter longer. And your breasts grew a fraction of a—" "They did not!" "Yes, they did." "Did NOT." "Did too." "What else, you big pig?" "You got a little happier and also a little sadder." "Meaning they cancel out each other, leaving me exactly the same." "Not at all. The fact that you got a little happier today doesn't change the fact that you also become a little sadder. Every day you become a little more of both, which me...
Post a Comment
Read more

v day

 I am in luteal phase and everything my husband doing is irritating me.  It is all scientific I know but still everything is so annoying and I just wanted pizza. He ordered biryani.  I wanted to go on a date on valentines day. He brought me flowers, which was sweet but he forgot to book the restaurant and we ended up going costco instead. I just feel like I am wasting my best years on him. Is it normal to feel like that. We are almost 2 years into our married life and I already miss our initial chemistry. I feel like we are being like an old married couple. It shouldn't feel like that, right? I mean, it is still new; we aren't that old yet.  I feel so bored honestly, and disappointed.  Again, this could be because of my luteal phase.  I am sad too.  I wish, he made a little more effort to make me feel special. Make me feel deserving. I wish I didn't dress up to do our groceries on Valentines day. 
Post a Comment
Read more

opposite sides of a coin

Hi B,  I've been sort of busy with the training for the job and have another interview coming tomorrow. I am torn between staying with the current job and switching or keeping both as part times. I don't know, I guess I will have a decision made if the interview goes well. I have been traveling far for the current one and every time I get on the bus or the the train I feel depression kicking in full force. Suddenly I remember home, the comfort of being around my loved ones, the easy life I once had back in Bangladesh. Certainly, there are things that weren't easy but I guess it felt easy because I was more used to it. Transport was rickshaw and didn't even think twice before booking an uber because I always had some money with me. Now I have literally 200 dollars to go by and I have to think twice to even buy a cup of coffee or a piece of bread. I guess with time, I will be able to save up some money. I am glad at least I got to start working. It is still very overwhelm...
Post a Comment
Read more