Everly

 he reached out to me only to get a closure i guess. and last night, I cried and it's the only time i cried after a long time. I guess I just saw it coming. I let my mind be busy and not think about where we stand, just as an escape. yesterday, I had to face that, the pain, the past whatever it was. and weirdly enough he apologized to me. I never thought he would ever. It is a bit difficult to finally accept we are over and done. I guess I still find myself somewhere in him. And to lose that, is ...I don't know if I am still ready. But I have to be. We are not right for each other. He was a wrong decision I made only to pain myself.  what's done is done, and cannot be undone. I am moving on, I have opened my dating profile again. I bet there is someone out there for me, who will love me with 100 percent of their heart and won't use me for my body. 

 Life is good. it is busy, soul sucking, exhaustion but a good exhaustion. i like how things are now. my mind is almost diverted from him and i think, he knows too, we don't have much left to work on. i will however, talk with him, if only he reaches out to me, until then, i am tight lipped. i don't know if i have covid tho, everyday, i am a risk factor for my family. but these days, i don't overthink much. did some shopping today, so my mood is really good. i am taking one day at a time. pray for me. and my family.