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B,
Life was great until I realized there are people in my life I hold important. I actually have a hard time keeping people in my life...When I face any conflicts, I autopilot to "So this it. He/she is done with me."

This is my anxiety. Those turbulent times, all I need from that person is a warm embrace. Affection. Understanding that I am flawed and I want a moment of truce.

My peace loving attitude has avoided so many confrontations. It put me in situations I felt uncomfortable in. It made me a victim to manipulators. It has shut me up. 

You know, B. I always thought the relationships I have with people can easily be broken. I always leave one foot at the door so I can take the nearest exit when things are not in my control or too much to handle...If it was 5-6 years ago, the old me would've left, shut down, start afresh, wouldn't care as much leaving people. This me, however, I can't leave. I can't cut off. I have friends now that I didn't think I cared for this much. I realized relationships are supposed to have conflicts, you are supposed to argue and disagree at times and it is how it should be. It is not perfect. It is messy. It is confusing. 

My anxiety will tell me that everything is over. When in reality nothing is over yet. Infact, it is an opening for the relationship/friendship to get even stronger and deep.  


So this is my take on that. Just wanted to share. 











 

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