Skip to main content
This is why I need you

I feel like people are so sensitive about the person they love. It is like a feeling of superiority. Like the person you love will represent you, the person you love will show other people what sort of person you are.

Trust me, most of the people who are in love or in process of love, "What will other people think of us" crosses their minds like hundred times. They make it seem so important, more important than the person they're with. Real life examples. My best friend about the guy she likes. She asked me more than once, "Does it look bad, if I go out with him? ....I mean, he is not that good looking, but he is the most reliable and nicest man I know here." 

I didn't know what to say to that. 

My cousin, almost every time, validates to me the person she is dating. Her conversation mostly follows with, how committed he is to her, how he is so understandable....I wanted to know, if she is telling these information to me just to make me think, she is not on a fling, he is a serious guy who loves her and he got hooked on her? I mean all I needed to know was is she happy? Because I seriously don't need anymore explanation why she is dating him. There's no need of why. There's a need for "Are you happy, my dear sister? That's all I care about."

I think everybody takes the pride in the person they're with. It completes them. 

Everybody wants their social approval. Everybody wants to be with a superior being, who accentuates their beauty of existence. I get that. I totally do.

I am not in love yet. But I know how diluted love is already. 
I wish there were someone out there, I could understand love with.

The feeling of companionship is wonderful. But it is the feeling of loneliness that throws on some perspective. 



Comments

Popular posts from this blog

"Because nothing makes me happier and nothing makes me sadder than you.”

“If I had a camera," I said, "I'd take a picture of you every day. That way I'd remember how you looked every single day of your life." "I look exactly the same." "No, you don't. You're changing all the time. Every day a tiny bit. If I could, I'd keep a record of it all." "If you're so smart, how did I change today?" "You got a fraction of a millimeter taller, for one thing. Your hair grew a fraction of a millimeter longer. And your breasts grew a fraction of a—" "They did not!" "Yes, they did." "Did NOT." "Did too." "What else, you big pig?" "You got a little happier and also a little sadder." "Meaning they cancel out each other, leaving me exactly the same." "Not at all. The fact that you got a little happier today doesn't change the fact that you also become a little sadder. Every day you become a little more of both, which me...

v day

 I am in luteal phase and everything my husband doing is irritating me.  It is all scientific I know but still everything is so annoying and I just wanted pizza. He ordered biryani.  I wanted to go on a date on valentines day. He brought me flowers, which was sweet but he forgot to book the restaurant and we ended up going costco instead. I just feel like I am wasting my best years on him. Is it normal to feel like that. We are almost 2 years into our married life and I already miss our initial chemistry. I feel like we are being like an old married couple. It shouldn't feel like that, right? I mean, it is still new; we aren't that old yet.  I feel so bored honestly, and disappointed.  Again, this could be because of my luteal phase.  I am sad too.  I wish, he made a little more effort to make me feel special. Make me feel deserving. I wish I didn't dress up to do our groceries on Valentines day. 

opposite sides of a coin

Hi B,  I've been sort of busy with the training for the job and have another interview coming tomorrow. I am torn between staying with the current job and switching or keeping both as part times. I don't know, I guess I will have a decision made if the interview goes well. I have been traveling far for the current one and every time I get on the bus or the the train I feel depression kicking in full force. Suddenly I remember home, the comfort of being around my loved ones, the easy life I once had back in Bangladesh. Certainly, there are things that weren't easy but I guess it felt easy because I was more used to it. Transport was rickshaw and didn't even think twice before booking an uber because I always had some money with me. Now I have literally 200 dollars to go by and I have to think twice to even buy a cup of coffee or a piece of bread. I guess with time, I will be able to save up some money. I am glad at least I got to start working. It is still very overwhelm...