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I might be picking up my old pattern again...On the edge of a mental breakdown.
I am missing Music Guy again. I don't see him around much, like two days a week maybe, even when I do, we avoid eye contact, and sometimes talk like in an indirect manner. I thought I was over the obsession but actually it is my desperateness of wanting to feel loved. When I am around my friends, I feel like I am missing out on something....It is not Music Guy who I want to be with...It is just, he is the only potential person I once loved and wanted to be with, so I am simply getting haunted by the past.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uqkm0MnHAv4

Another spectacular news my mother gave me this morning...The guy(MY mom's friend's son)I was supposed to meet, is getting married this month....We just got invited. Can you believe this? I know I was against the idea after the instagram incident but it feels like a kick in my stomach...

I don't know why people think it is okay to assume that women are options. I feel like I need to build back my esteem, I need to empower myself because these thoughts and negativity is killing my self worth. I don't want to head to the direction of last year again....I can't be that. I have changed and I am enough for myself. I don't need a man to define me. I don't.

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