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The good news is I am healing. The pain is 2 out of 10.  So I can walk and do other normal things without flinching.

In the previous post, I have let out all my frustrations and how I am not so happy with my friends. I even used the term 'pretentious'.
Well aren't we all a little pretentious? Today I feel more positive and I understood this one thing. Parents are the only people who is there for you selflessly. It would be silly to seek selflessness from your friends. And it would be sillier to want to have more than what you deserve to have from them.
So yeah I might have misjudged my friends. I may have let my personal feelings and the things I was going through get in the way of our friendship. To judge them like that, I have to look at myself first.
Have I been a good friend?
No. I was barely there this semester, and I barely have been honest with them about things. I didn't put myself out there much for them to realize what I was going through and how I felt so negative and left out and how I always played the victim card. I realized, I didn't put much effort to have the right to say, I've been nothing but a good friend. So there is no reason to be upset about this. In life, I will have these situations come and go. I would lose people, people won't always be authentic toward me, and neither will I.

And I can't be alone. No matter how I think I will be fine by myself, I won't be. So I guess I will be okay with whatever happened, it can be forgotten. I choose to move on. I choose to stay with my friends and make my life less miserable and lonely.

I didn't give them the scope to understand. To be sensitive toward me. They weren't so aware. So it is not their fault. I feel more positive now, and I feel that there is no point in pointing out flaws with other people and be frustrated about them. Everybody's going through some struggle in their lives themselves and you just have to focus on yours. How you can get through yours. So I am okay now. I have no grudge against anyone. I am looking forward to working on myself and be a better human. Cause I know I have it in me. I can be better.









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