*Exhales*
Only 5 days left till the entrance exam.
How am I doing?
I don't know. My preparation certainly isn't up to the mark. But I'm always telling myself to keep trying. Miracles happen and what I understood about myself is that- I can work hard on anything that once I set my mind to, even when I am late to realize it. Most of the times I had lost it and been completely miserable and slept for abnormal hours. But now I am changing for good. I hope.
The more I am studying the more it's fucking with my mind. The more my confidence is getting shaken up. But one thing that is clear and out of my understanding is that- this is not the end. Life awaits me. And things will get better and better, even if it gets worse, it will get better eventually. IF I don't get into DU my life will be a little miserable, but I will get over it and grow. What do I have to lose?
At least now I know that- I can do hard work. I am not that lazy girl I thought I were, I mean yeah I am kind of lazy- but if I try I can still be pretty something. And If I don't get into DU it would be their loss because I think I deserve to study there, my accounting concepts aren't unclear and I can handle Management so-so, and on finance I suck but I will try making it work in these 5 days, my English isn't so bad- I mean damn my vocabulary if I knew words that could be of some use, And Bangla it's mostly on my guesses. So I don't think that I am one of those students who'll fail in the entrance test, not that I am proud of it- because just passing the exam won't do, I have to grab a seat and a notable merit that could lead me toward a good subject.
I have to grow so much. There are endless possibilities if I just be brave enough. If I just get out the boundaries I in the first place have created for myself to keep me safe. There's no safety zone in success. You can fall anytime, any moment. There's no permanent status attached. I don't even dream of being in the summit of success, because I love adventure. I love to explore the options. And yeah shamelessly saying- I don't have a clue what I am gonna do with my life. What I will give my devotion and energy to. The future is what I call my present. Like- the only thing that I want to achieve right now is getting accepted in Dhaka University. And after that new challenges will arrive. I take baby steps when it comes to goals. Because I choose goals pretty realistically and the ones that I say I dream of- are just my dreams. Like- Yeah I love singing- Am I trying harder to become a singer? No. Because it won't work out, I don't love it enough to be poor. I am in quest of goals because I don't have much. I don't have money to become a traveler or anything I want to do. They're just my dreams. So I don't bother to work on them, they're like my last priorities at this moment. Kissing Jensen Ackles; DREAM, Having iphone- DREAM, Having a pair of Ripped Jeans our society casts
dirt looks at, having to wear them-DREAM. Being called pretty- DREAM. Being pretty- DREAM. Having the wealthiest, hottest, kindest, funniest guy to call husband to -DREAM.Having to shop MAC products- DREAM. Having to get accepted in the IBA- DREAM.Having the job I'd be passionate about- DREAM.
Here I am. Wasting a bit of time- because I feel that- there will always be exams and I will always be listening to songs during that times and be typing in this blog about my progress and how my life sucks and I will always say something about how I dream it to be. Life will never be perfect. It doesn't mean you can't live it happily, cause you certainly can do.
Only 5 days left till the entrance exam.
How am I doing?
I don't know. My preparation certainly isn't up to the mark. But I'm always telling myself to keep trying. Miracles happen and what I understood about myself is that- I can work hard on anything that once I set my mind to, even when I am late to realize it. Most of the times I had lost it and been completely miserable and slept for abnormal hours. But now I am changing for good. I hope.
The more I am studying the more it's fucking with my mind. The more my confidence is getting shaken up. But one thing that is clear and out of my understanding is that- this is not the end. Life awaits me. And things will get better and better, even if it gets worse, it will get better eventually. IF I don't get into DU my life will be a little miserable, but I will get over it and grow. What do I have to lose?
At least now I know that- I can do hard work. I am not that lazy girl I thought I were, I mean yeah I am kind of lazy- but if I try I can still be pretty something. And If I don't get into DU it would be their loss because I think I deserve to study there, my accounting concepts aren't unclear and I can handle Management so-so, and on finance I suck but I will try making it work in these 5 days, my English isn't so bad- I mean damn my vocabulary if I knew words that could be of some use, And Bangla it's mostly on my guesses. So I don't think that I am one of those students who'll fail in the entrance test, not that I am proud of it- because just passing the exam won't do, I have to grab a seat and a notable merit that could lead me toward a good subject.
I have to grow so much. There are endless possibilities if I just be brave enough. If I just get out the boundaries I in the first place have created for myself to keep me safe. There's no safety zone in success. You can fall anytime, any moment. There's no permanent status attached. I don't even dream of being in the summit of success, because I love adventure. I love to explore the options. And yeah shamelessly saying- I don't have a clue what I am gonna do with my life. What I will give my devotion and energy to. The future is what I call my present. Like- the only thing that I want to achieve right now is getting accepted in Dhaka University. And after that new challenges will arrive. I take baby steps when it comes to goals. Because I choose goals pretty realistically and the ones that I say I dream of- are just my dreams. Like- Yeah I love singing- Am I trying harder to become a singer? No. Because it won't work out, I don't love it enough to be poor. I am in quest of goals because I don't have much. I don't have money to become a traveler or anything I want to do. They're just my dreams. So I don't bother to work on them, they're like my last priorities at this moment. Kissing Jensen Ackles; DREAM, Having iphone- DREAM, Having a pair of Ripped Jeans our society casts
dirt looks at, having to wear them-DREAM. Being called pretty- DREAM. Being pretty- DREAM. Having the wealthiest, hottest, kindest, funniest guy to call husband to -DREAM.Having to shop MAC products- DREAM. Having to get accepted in the IBA- DREAM.Having the job I'd be passionate about- DREAM.
Here I am. Wasting a bit of time- because I feel that- there will always be exams and I will always be listening to songs during that times and be typing in this blog about my progress and how my life sucks and I will always say something about how I dream it to be. Life will never be perfect. It doesn't mean you can't live it happily, cause you certainly can do.
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