Everly

sucking the life outta meh.

Didn't get into DU. No Hard Feelings.I moved on already. I am relieved tho. It has been an awful experience but I learned a lot through it. And let me quote this awesome line- Failure is the pillar of success.   And I am so blessed that my parents aren't less proud of me, they appreciated that I stood among those 2500 out of 7000 who passed out of 47000. I was in bed for 15 days last month because of Dengu and still I managed to face this test. And so my parents have been so understanding and seriously, at this moment all I needed was a little support and they have given me oh-so-more than that. I am so thankful to them that they still appreciated me  instead of letting me down. They're the source of my courage. I am gonna do full-on studies and this time- it's gonna be different. I would not force myself to studying, I would be delightfully doing it. And face the exams with full grace.

Now I'm thinking, "Was I over prepared? Cause my head was all over the place." :-( The question paper was easy. But I only felt that when I got home. I am disappointed at myself for thinking too much in the examination hall. I just got scared and possessive of the marks. I didn't want my right answers to be cut out by negative marking. So I could have answered 85 percent of the questions and I answered only 70 percent. SO there you go. I am not getting into DU. The results gonna be out in three days and I already have set my mind to the next stage. I have to do something, I thought I would feel a relief today because finally the exam would be over and I wouldn't have to study for 5 big subjects at a row, but I am not feeling any relief. My hard work didn't pay off. I was miserable there. I have to work harder and make sure this doesn't happen at any exams in my life because that feeling is unbearable. When you doubt yourself in the exam hall- it's t...

*Exhales* Only 5 days left till the entrance exam. How am I doing? I don't know. My preparation certainly isn't up to the mark. But I'm always telling myself to keep trying. Miracles happen and what I understood about myself is that- I can work hard on anything that once I set my mind to, even when I am late to realize it. Most of the times I had lost it and been completely miserable and slept for abnormal hours. But now I am changing for good. I hope.  The more I am studying the more it's fucking with my mind. The more my confidence is getting shaken up. But one thing that is clear and out of my understanding is that- this is not the end. Life awaits me . And things will get better and better, even if it gets worse, it will get better eventually. IF I don't get into DU my life will be a little miserable, but I will get over it and grow. What do I have to lose? At least now I know that- I can do hard work. I am not that lazy girl I thought I were, I mean ye...

Beautiful!!!