Skip to main content
This morning I had a horrible dream of losing some one so precious to me, and when I woke up I was relieved that it was just a dream, but then I could feel the pain inside of me, like I've been through hell and back.You see, a nightmare can make you realize what your biggest fear is.My biggest fear is losing my dad.

The moment I realized it was just a dream, was the moment I realized forever does not last.There will be a time, when we're all gonna die.I can imagine myself at my own funeral, but I can't simply imagine a day without my father,not a single morning, not a split second.I just can't afford my life without him, it haunts me every now and then.I don't need anything on this earth when I have the most precious thing beside me,I'm thankful for every breath he takes and that he's with us.I just want him safe and sound.I want him for a lifetime.

I feel like my home, the home that my dad provided-is the happiest place on earth and ever will be.I may not have all the luxuries, I may not have everything I want, but I have everything that I need.I have my Abbu.I don't need anyone.When I'm with him I feel invincible, and the happiest and luckiest girl in the whole world.I can't tell you all the things he did for us, it won't fit in here.He's much more of a dad.He is my best friend.He is my hero.My inspiration.I don't need anything,seriously.I'm happy and blessed.Thank you Allah, you gave me the bestest dad ever.I owe you.

Religion does not define you.What defines you is your soul,not what you believe in.My dad might not be an organized religious man,but he is a good soul.He is kind, he is courageous,caring,loyal, there's no question about his character.When I talk after-life with him, I get surprised by his optimism and loyalty.

May Allah grant him his every single wish and a sound,profound health and a long life.

I will make my dad proud one day, I promise.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

"Because nothing makes me happier and nothing makes me sadder than you.”

“If I had a camera," I said, "I'd take a picture of you every day. That way I'd remember how you looked every single day of your life." "I look exactly the same." "No, you don't. You're changing all the time. Every day a tiny bit. If I could, I'd keep a record of it all." "If you're so smart, how did I change today?" "You got a fraction of a millimeter taller, for one thing. Your hair grew a fraction of a millimeter longer. And your breasts grew a fraction of a—" "They did not!" "Yes, they did." "Did NOT." "Did too." "What else, you big pig?" "You got a little happier and also a little sadder." "Meaning they cancel out each other, leaving me exactly the same." "Not at all. The fact that you got a little happier today doesn't change the fact that you also become a little sadder. Every day you become a little more of both, which me...

v day

 I am in luteal phase and everything my husband doing is irritating me.  It is all scientific I know but still everything is so annoying and I just wanted pizza. He ordered biryani.  I wanted to go on a date on valentines day. He brought me flowers, which was sweet but he forgot to book the restaurant and we ended up going costco instead. I just feel like I am wasting my best years on him. Is it normal to feel like that. We are almost 2 years into our married life and I already miss our initial chemistry. I feel like we are being like an old married couple. It shouldn't feel like that, right? I mean, it is still new; we aren't that old yet.  I feel so bored honestly, and disappointed.  Again, this could be because of my luteal phase.  I am sad too.  I wish, he made a little more effort to make me feel special. Make me feel deserving. I wish I didn't dress up to do our groceries on Valentines day. 

opposite sides of a coin

Hi B,  I've been sort of busy with the training for the job and have another interview coming tomorrow. I am torn between staying with the current job and switching or keeping both as part times. I don't know, I guess I will have a decision made if the interview goes well. I have been traveling far for the current one and every time I get on the bus or the the train I feel depression kicking in full force. Suddenly I remember home, the comfort of being around my loved ones, the easy life I once had back in Bangladesh. Certainly, there are things that weren't easy but I guess it felt easy because I was more used to it. Transport was rickshaw and didn't even think twice before booking an uber because I always had some money with me. Now I have literally 200 dollars to go by and I have to think twice to even buy a cup of coffee or a piece of bread. I guess with time, I will be able to save up some money. I am glad at least I got to start working. It is still very overwhelm...