Everly

You know you've grown out of your age when you check the granny section during shoe shopping. You're more of a 'comfort beats style' kinda person. I was never a shoe enthusiast. Mainly because whenever I'd to buy shoes I looked at the price and a stunning pair always had the higher range so I was stuck with regular, hideous sandals or flats or sparkly looking heels that were out of style. They say shoes define a person's financial status, it is not that I don't buy expensive things, I do invest, moderately, but just not on shoes. It's not my field of interest. I do adore a good looking pair, but I always hated my feet, ergo, I never liked looking what I tried on. My sister on the other hand is a shopaholic, an expert on this. I miss her. Whenever I go shopping now, I think about how she used to be such a pain in the ass and a freaking time consumer.  Whenever I check the price tags, I day dream that someday, I'll be employed and buy all the ...

wh at i miss most is how you loved me. but what i didn’t know was how you loved me had so much to do with the person i was. it was a reflection of everything i gave to you. coming back to me. how did i not see that. how. did i sit here soaking in the idea that no one else would love me that way. when it was i that taught you. when it was i that showed you how to fill. the way i needed to be filled. how cruel i was to myself. giving you credit for my warmth simply because you had felt it. thinking it was you who gave me strength. wit. beauty. simply because you recognized it. as if i was already not these things before i met you. as if i did not remain all these once you left. you leave but you don’t stay gone wh y do you do that wh y do you abandon the thing you want to keep wh y do you linger in a place you do not want to stay wh y do you think it’s okay to do both go and return all at once

Not sure how I feel about playing the villain in the family. My parents hate me, well they'd been hating on me since I don't remember. Just because how I live my life, sleep way too much and don't eat timely. Well they're lucky I don't do drugs or cigars. I should tho...My life is super dull.  

My niece is leaving today. I'm gonna be depressed for days. But when I think about her playing in the snow, going to school, talking in cute accent and having a beautiful future, my joy overshadows the pain of missing her. 

don't need to freak out, I am alive. I had mid terms and it all was too exhausting. 

felt the urge to cut myself again my thumb has a scratch on it my mother bit me today slapped me because i wanted to go out and it is dark ourside my cousins called me said they wanted to hangout I miss them, i do. Plans got cancelled anyway. I screamed at the top of my lungs because i am frustrated at all of them and maybe myself I don't care what the neighbors think. Sincerely I don't. Why am I here, when I breathe I don't feel like I am breathing My mom opened my tear gate again and this is supposed to be my year. I am supposed to grow up and not be sad anymore. they don't know how much is going on in my head. She doesn't know how much I am hurt. How much I wanted us to work out. How much I wanted to love her, the way she is. How much I wanted to be loved as her daughter She never wanted me the way I am. I can't forgive her for how she is to me. I can never be the way she wants me to be.  I locked myself because I don...

  "She was becoming herself and daily casting aside that fictitious self which we assume like a garment with which to appear before the world." — Kate Chopin, "The Awakening"