Everly

I have been doing quite well. Both mentally and physically. I feel like myself again. Last night, I put on some great music and danced in my room. Of course, my husband was at work and he wasn't here to see me stupidly dancing.  I used to do that before as a child/teenager. I remember, everyday when I felt gloomy, I would put my favourite music on my ipod and dance like nobody watching. I am glad, I feel like that child again. I am glad I have got through a very lonely and dark time and am present with myself again.  My relationship with my husband has also significantly improved. I feel closer with him than ever. He has also shown some acts of service and taking care of me. The emotional disconnection I felt before has faded away. I feel like the luckiest woman alive when I am with him.  I still don't have a job though. However, I am trying. A little bit everyday to improve myself. I guess I will find a job once I figure out what I want and where my passion lies. Seeking...

 Dear B,  This past month has been the heaviest. I went through a lot by myself. I still am recovering from the pain and trauma.  I got to know I was pregnant. This was completely unplanned. We talked and decided not to keep it. However, I couldn't have the heart to abort it by myself. As mentioned before, my husband was away for training. I was completely alone and was miserable as hell. Everyday I would feel sick. I would cry to the point where I couldn't see any light outside of the tunnel. I was at the lowest point of my life. The saddest part was, he was in such extensive training, we couldn't even talk or text as much. I felt like he was emotionally disconnected from me. I could feel he wanted to help but because of the job he has and the demands, he could not do as much. I knew eventually I had to do it alone.  I was almost 8 weeks when I decided to proceed with abortion. Honestly, I knew that something was not right and I don't have the courage at the time. I...