Everly

Hi B. I got hired as an english tutor in an online global company. I took 2 classes today and taught english and the pay is not much but it sure did give me some purpose in life. My niece is having trouble in speaking. She's three and her therapist had concerns. My entire world came crashing down since I heard. And I kept crying to my creator. I kept complaining, I still do. Since she was born, all I could think about was when she would talk with me. Call me by Khalamoni. You know how much my heart craves for that sound? You know how much I want to hug her, hold her little hands again? I can't go to Canada because I don't have money. When I will earn that much, the first thing I am gonna do is visit her. I can't take it anymore. I miss her so much. I miss my sister too. The future will always be uncertain. Unpredictable. Maybe little predictable, but still. This world is a cruel place for kids, for teenagers for growing adults. It is a shitty place. It makes y...

just four nights staying out of home i realized, there is nothing more calmer than just leaving. leaving is my tendency, it doesn't have to be physical. whenever i have an issue with someone i just want to leave from there. not face it. i ran away from a would be relationship. i ran away from interviews i applied for. i ran away from my past being a problematic kid. i ran away from a friend who genuinely cares for me. i hurt her and i wanted my release from the prison she created for me inside her mind. i don't want to suffocate in somebody else's interpreted world. i want to be in my own world. making decisions my own way. I don't want to deal with this. Anymore. when i say i am an introvert, socially awkward, people say be more outspoken. it is like telling an extrovert to be more quiet. i hate the fact that, i am in middle of all this people and despite that i feel like i am alone. and everybody thinks it's okay to put aside my conceptions and put th...