Everly

So I have to make up excuses to avoid hangouts with school friends. Because get this. I have it all lined up next week, and tomorrow, I have to go to this lunch invite and I was so not feeling it. But I have to do it because I have fear of missing out. And to top it off. I had to lie to my parents, on 3rd next month i'm gonna stay at a resort for one night, with all my friends. I told my parents it is managed by university and I am gonna stay at a girl's dorm. If I get caught, I can only assume. I am gonna be in dangerous trouble. My phone is hitting up with messenger groups. For all this planning and shit. I mean, I am not complaining, but I love my space. And I like staying home. I am not on a social sphere. It is just that, all of them are planning movie, lunch, then this resort....It is all too much! And I don't have my pocket money, I have to run it through my parents every now and then. The conversations are not fun. But this is the first time, I am going t...

the restart of the engine, the green light to go the sweats on the face feels cold as the air hits, as the car finally moves. when you're finally home, mom tells you we have ice-cream in the fridge. you before even changing clothes, drop your body on the bed with a spoon and the box. As the vanilla melts in your mouth you think about the day and you think life is not so bad.

Dear B! Life is quite happening for me right now haha. I have an Iranian guy on my what's app. Basically, I used to follow this photographer/architect on instagram, since 2012! It took him 7 years to finally notice me. He has over twenty thousand followers. It started when I commented on his photo saying he is cute. He followed me back and texted me Where are you from? You look so good. Then things escalated way fast and guess what? He would like to talk and 'enjoy'. Okay I know, foreigners are wild and full of spice so I am not getting invested into this. I will keep my territory clean. And just talk. There is no harm in that. If I get even slightly uncomfortable, I would block him. Simple! If 7 years ago I knew this guy I stalked would actually notice me, I would've died with sheer happiness. I am happy now too but knowing this would be a pointless recreational activity; kind of makes me sad at the same time. I wish I had money and fly to Iran and meet him and do...

So I am officially 23. And I smoked  a few mins ago. Yes an actual nicotine full of cigarette, and I felt awfully dizzy. I don't know why I did that, maybe because I had a stressful day today and this is all I was looking forward to all day. It is always exciting and fun to do something that your parents and society abandon you to do. Obviously I am not making a habit out of this, it is not a regular thing. It's just a reckless one day -temporary fun. Besides, I am still kind of dizzy and my room smells. I have to do something about the smell before my non-smoker parents find out about this. Well it's 12.18 am, they're all asleep, hoping in the morning the smell will vanish. Now I am sitting with a tub of ice-cream. To remove the aftertaste. To be honest. I am not feeling 'good' or 'soothed out', I am feeling super dizzy and a slight headache. Why do smokers enjoy this? I am still trying to figure it out. My birthday was extra good this year. I had ...